4 Monty the Musical Dog

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Monty the Musical DOG MONTY WAS A DOG who enjoyed the finer things in life: a morning bath complete with bubbles... roast beet for dinner served in a silver bowl... his OWN wicker basket lined with a soft tartan blanket on which to sleep.

Monty was a basset hound. The much-loved pet lived in a grand old country house with a grand old name. This grand old dame had a lifelong passion for musicals. In her younger days, Dame Emerald had been a superstar of musical theatre. She trod the boards of the West End in London and Broadway in New York. Dame Emerald knew every single word to every single song from every single show. She had an immense collection of records of all the classic musicals. She played them on her old-fashioned gramophone at full blast, singing along and reliving her glory days. "LAH!" As Monty heard musicals all day, every day, he grew to love them as

much as his keeper. The pet would raid Dame Emerald's dressing-up box to act out scenes from the shows as the crackly old records spun round on the gramophone. Monty would become the PHANTOM OF THE OPERA himself! For this he would don a mask, hat and cape. Or he would put on a nun's habit! Then he would spin around playing Maria from The Sound of Music. His favourite was to play the cold- hearted Javert from Les Misérables. For this, Monty would sport a long police- officer's coat and one of those funny sideways hats. When Monty really lost himself in a character and howled along to the show tunes, he would be mercilessly mocked. That's because Dame Emerald had another pet in her country pile: a black-and-white cat named Snipe. As is tradition in the animal world, the cat and the dog

were sworn enemies. In the lounge of the house, Snipe would crouch on the headrest of Dame Emerald's armchair. This was somewhere Monty with his little legs could not reach. The cat would wait until the old lady dozed off with a glass of her favourite tipple in her hand. Then, from her place of safety, she would snipe at Monty. "You can't sing a note, you pongy old pooch!" she purred. "You don't know the first thing about musical theatre, you rotten old moggy!" Monty retorted. "I know the words to every song from every show!" "Nonsense!"

"It is not nonsense!" "Nonsense!" "Not nonsense!" "Well then, why, oh why, do you never sing the songs from this, my favourite show?" With that, Snipe leaped up on to the highest shelf of the cabinet and pulled out a black record with the word CATS in huge white letters on it. The dog fumed. Steam came out of his ears. His eyes crossed. "CATS! A MUSICAL?" he spluttered. "What sorcery is this!" "It's not sorcery! It is real!" replied the smug-looking cat. "The old dear