3 The Burgling Budgie

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The Burgling BUDGIE ONCE UPON A TIME, at the top of the tallest block of flats, lived an elegant elderly lady all alone. From so high up, the only living things Miss Havisham saw were the birds perching on her windowsill. She grew to love those birds and would talk to them.

"Good day, my little darlings!" "How do you do?" "You are looking more beautiful than ever!" Every morning, she would sprinkle some breadcrumbs on the windowsill for them. However, a greedy one-eyed magpie would steal them all, gobbling down every last crumb. "SAVAWK! SAVAWK! SQUAWK!" Over time, Miss Havisham's friends, the birds, stopped coming. They lived in fear of the one-eyed magpie. Poor Miss Havisham felt rather lonely. But one day she awoke with a splendid idea. For the first time in her long life, she would own a pet! So, as soon as she was dressed, immaculately as usual, with her hair styled in an elegant do, she set off. Miss Havisham danced all the way down the PICKWICK'S PETS hundreds of stairs and PETS skipped to her nearest pet shop, PICKWICK'S PETS.

Little did Miss Havisham know that waiting there for her was one of the world's very Worst pets. "A budgerigar?" asked the pet-shop owner. He was a round man called Mr Pickwick who wore a blond toupee on the top of his head. Cats, rabbits, hamsters, gerbils and even tropical fish were dotted around his shop. A little sausage dog lay by his feet. The dog had a sign on it that read: Dickens the dog NOT FOR SALE "Are you sure you want a budgerigar, madam?" "Yes!" replied Miss Havisham in her posh voice, her bright eyes flashing with excitement. "I would love a pet I can talk to and that will talk back." "Well, this one definitely talks back," he muttered. "GRRRRR!" agreed Dickens the dog. "I beg your pardon, Mr Pickwick?" asked Miss Havisham. "Nothing, madam!" he fibbed. "I just said this one talks'. Now, madam, you are in luck! I have one last

budgie in the shop!" Mr Pickwick reached up to the top shelf behind him and brought down a birdcage, which he placed on the counter. SHONK! Inside the metal cage was the sweetest-looking bird. Budgerigars are tiny parrots that are a little bit green, a little bit yellow and a little bit blue. This one hopped around its cage.

CLINK! CLINK! CLINK! Miss Havisham fell in love in an instant. "Oh! He's absolutely adorable!" Dickens the dog shook his head violently. WOBBLE! "May I be so bold as to enquire after the price?" asked Miss Havisham. "Ten pee?" replied Mr Pickwick hopefully. "TEN PEE?" repeated Miss Havisham, incredulous. "All right, then, five pee!" "Five pee for a budgie?" "I like you, madam. Here, we have a special offer on budgies today. This one is two pee!" "Two pee?" "All right, you drive a hard bargain! Let's call it One pee!" Before Mr Pickwick could change his mind, Miss Havisham whipped out her purse and slammed a one- pence coin down on the counter. SHOINE! "I should pay you to take him away!" muttered Mr Pickwick.