4 The Creature from the Black Pond

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The CREATURE from the Black Pond THE WATER IN THE POND had turned black. It wasn't really water any more- it was a thick, dark sludge. Nothing could survive in it. The fish and frogs had died off years before. Even the waterlilies had disappeared under the surface, never to be seen again.

The pond was just one small part of an unloved garden. It was a jungle of weeds and stinging nettles, with the tallest tree you ever did see looming at the end. The tree was barren of leaves. Just an endless knot of dead wood. It was the garden of an old country house, long forgotten in the deep, dark countryside. It had been left to rot for a hundred years, and was now a crumbling wreck. Floorboards were broken. Wallpaper was peeling from the walls. Windows were cracked or boarded up. It wasn't really a home. But it was the only one Sally had. The girl was an orphan and had been sent to live with her grandmothers, who loathed each other with a passion.

Sometimes you have a nice grandmother and a nasty one. A nice one who gives you fudge, and a nasty one who then snatches it out of your hand. Sally had two nasty ones. The grandmothers lived together out of convenience. It was cheaper to share the costs of the bills, not that they ever lit the fireplaces or ran a hot bath. They could afford to: under their bed they kept old leather suitcases stuffed full of cash. They were just too mean. Their names were Grandma Grub and Grandma Grot. It was easy to remember who was who. Grandma Grub looked like an unformed beetle. Meanwhile, Grandma Grot was so filthy a cloud of dirt followed her around like a bad smell. A bad smell followed her around too. PONGY WONGY WOO!

These were the nastiest grandmas in the history of grandmadom.* *See your Walliamsictionary for this and a gazillion other bonkers words. The grandmothers were nasty to each other. They would put electric eels down each other's toilets so that when they sat down to go they received electric shocks on their bottoms. BUZZ! They were nasty to strangers. If anyone dared knock on their front door asking for charity donations, they would pelt them with rotten eggs, then steal their collection tins. CRACK! They were nasty to animals. If a cat dared find its way into their garden, the grandmas would SQUIRT water at it with the hose. SPLOOSH!

They were nasty to their friends. Oh no. Hang on. They didn't have any friends. Grub and Grot were far too nasty for that. However, they saved up all their most nasty nastiness for one person and one person only. Their granddaughter, Sally. They had taken the orphan in purely for her to become their servant. The poor girl had to do everything for her grandmothers: Grate the dead skin off the bottom of their feet with a cheese grater Pluck the hairs out of their chins and then stick them in a scrapbook to save for posterity Pick their noses for them (On her birthday, she was told she could eat the bogies as a special tasty treat, but Sally declined their kind offer) Clean the filth out of their fingernails with the end of a pencil Suck the wax out of their ears with a straw