5 Doctor Dread

DOCTOR DREAD & the Chair of a Thousand Farts THIS IS A HORROR STORY. Do you dare to read on? No? Then turn to the next story. Yes? You have been warned, and don't blame me if you have NIGHTMARES!

恐惧医生&一千个屁的椅子这是一个恐怖的故事。 你敢往下读吗？没有? 然后转到下一个故事。 是吗?我已经警告过你了，如果你做噩梦可别怪我！

Doctor Dread was the most horrifying teacher who ever stalked the Earth. He was half man and half MONSTER. The Science teacher revelled in his own horrifying appearance. He loved the fact that all the kids at GRUNGE HILL were terrified of him. The man smirked to himself as they darted out of his way. Doctor Dread's face was permanently scrunched up, like an angry walnut, holding a monocle in place. It looked as if he had just one beady eye, like a Cyclops. He had long ginger sideburns, or "mutton chops". creeping all the way down to his chin. Ginger hair exploded from his nose and ears like WILDFIRE. His teeth were long and pointed like fangs. His nose was a wonderland for warts.

恐惧博士是地球上最可怕的老师。 他一半是人，一半是怪物。 这位科学老师陶醉于自己可怕的外表。 他喜欢GRUNGE HILL的所有孩子都怕他的事实。 当他们飞快地闪开时，那人暗自得意地笑着。 恐惧博士的脸永远皱成一团，像一颗发怒的核桃，手里拿着一副单片眼镜。 看起来他好像只有一只眼睛，像独眼巨人。 他留着长长的姜黄色鬓角，或者叫“羊排”。 一直爬到下巴。 姜黄色的头发像野火一样从他的鼻子和耳朵里爆发出来。 他的牙齿又长又尖，像尖牙。 他的鼻子长了很多疣。

He always wore the same WHITE laboratory coat. Except this WHITE laboratory coat had not been WHITE for centuries, as he never, ever washed it. It was so thick with grime and grease It was actually a deep shade of BROWN. There were so many stains on it... Egg... Brown sauce... Blood... Cream cheese... Custard... Snot... Spaghetti sauce... Drool... Marmalade... Lard... ...that if you dipped it in boiling water you could have made soup.* *A soup that dinner lady Mrs Splatt might serve up. More of her wickedness later in the book. Doctor Dread had sandals on his feet, so he could show off his terrifying toes. They were a sight that would give you a fright, with their long claw-like nails, open sores and rancid foot cheese.

他总是穿着同一件白色的实验服。 除了这件白色的实验服几个世纪以来都不是白色的，因为他从来没有洗过它。 上面满是厚厚的污垢和油脂，实际上是一种深棕色。 上面有那么多污渍…… 蛋……布朗酱……血…… 奶油芝士…奶油…… 鼻涕……意大利面酱…… 口水……果酱……猪油…… …如果你把它浸在沸水里，你可以做汤。晚餐女士斯普拉特夫人可能会端上来的汤。 她的恶行稍后会在书中详述。 恐惧博士脚上穿着凉鞋，这样他就可以展示他可怕的脚趾了。 它们长着长长的爪状指甲，暴露的疮和腐臭的脚奶酪，这景象会让你感到害怕。

When Doctor Dread marked your homework, it would be returned with all sorts of nasties stuck to it: Snot Drool Dandruff Nasal hair Fingernail grot Foot cheese Earwax Pus A wart A bit of broken tooth Something purple that despite being sent to the laboratory for tests no one knew what it was

当恐惧博士批改你的作业时，你的作业上粘着各种各样的脏东西：鼻涕、流口水、头皮屑、鼻毛、指甲、脚、奶酪、耳垢、脓液、疣、一颗断牙、一种紫色的东西，尽管被送到实验室去化验，但没人知道它是什么

So far, so MONSTROUS. But I haven't even told you the most horrifying thing about Doctor Dread yet. His bottom burps. PFT? He blew off ALL the time. His trumps were so frequent they might as well have been continuous. There was less time when Doctor Dread wasn't passing wind than when he was. The slightest movement was enough to make the teacher release his poisonous gas... Sitting down... PFT! Getting up... PFT! Bending over... PFT! Straightening up... PFT! Coughing... PFT!

到目前为止，太可怕了。但我还没告诉你恐惧博士最可怕的事呢。 他的屁股打了个嗝。击球吗?他总是不理睬我。 他的王牌是如此频繁，他们可能是连续的。 恐惧博士不放屁的时间比他放屁的时间要少。 最轻微的动作就足以使老师释放毒气。 坐下来……击球时!起床…… 击球时!弯腰……击球时!直起身…… 击球时!咳嗽……击球时!