2 Mr & Mrs Lovey-Dovey

MR & MRS LOVEY-DOVEY & the Sea of Tears MR LOVEY HAD taught English at St Valentine's School for as long as anyone could remember. He dressed as if all his clothes had been knitted by his elderly mother. Which they were. The man was never seen without his knitted tie, cardigan and tweed suit.

罗维先生在圣瓦伦丁学校教英语已经有很长一段时间了。 他穿得好像他所有的衣服都是他年迈的母亲编织的。 他们确实是。这个人从来没有离开过他的针织领带、开襟羊毛衫和花呢西装。

One day, a new History teacher joined the school. Her name was Miss Dovey. She dressed as if she made her clothes out of old curtains. Which she did. The lady favoured floral frocks that went all the way up to her neck, and all the way down to her ankles. The pair were made for each other. On her very first day, Miss Dovey was put on break- time duty. Mr Lovey was too. As all the boys and girls of St Valentine's School played IT these two lovebirds caught their first glimpse of each other. To begin, their shyness prevented them from doing any more than glancing at each other briefly, then looking away. However, soon the looks became longer and longer, as they gazed into each other's eyes.

一天，一位新的历史老师来到了学校。 她叫多维小姐。她穿得好像是用旧窗帘做的衣服。 她照做了。这位女士喜欢一直到脖子和脚踝的花裙子。 这一对真是天生一对。 第一天，多维小姐就被安排在课间休息时间值班。 洛维先生也是。当圣瓦伦丁学校所有的男孩和女孩都在玩IT游戏时，这对情侣第一次瞥见了对方。 一开始，他们的羞怯使他们只能互相瞥一眼，然后把目光移开。 然而，当他们凝视着对方的眼睛时，他们的目光变得越来越长。

Red and brown leaves fell from the trees around them. PATTER! A gust of wind swirled their hair into the air. SWIRL! The sound of a dozen violins soared from the music room. DAH-DEE-DAH-DUM! The famous balcony scene from the most romantic play ever written, Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet, was being rehearsed in the concert hall. "But soft, what light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun."* *It's nearly as romantic as Burt and Sheila's love story in the classic novel Ratburger.

红色和棕色的树叶从他们周围的树上飘落下来。 喋喋不休地说!一阵风把他们的头发吹到空中。 漩涡!十来把小提琴的声音从音乐室里传出来。 DAH-DEE-DAH-DUM !有史以来最浪漫的戏剧——莎士比亚的《罗密欧与朱丽叶》中著名的阳台场景正在音乐厅里排练。 “可是，小声点，那边窗户里透出的是什么光？” 那是东方，朱丽叶就是太阳。这几乎和经典小说《鼠堡》中伯特和希拉的爱情故事一样浪漫。

In no time, their hearts were full to bursting. Neither could resist each other a moment longer. Mr Lovey and Miss Dovey opened their arms, and began rushing towards each other. They scampered across the playground like gazelles, knocking small children out of their way. OOF! "OUCH!" OOF! "ARGH!" OOF! "NOOO!"

很快，他们的心都要炸开了。 谁也不能再抗拒对方片刻了。 洛维先生和多维小姐张开双臂，开始向对方奔去。 它们像瞪羚一样在操场上窜来窜去，把小孩子们撞倒在地。 力量!“哎哟!”力量!“啊!”力量!“人参公鸡!”

Eventually the pair embraced. WALLOP! They held on to each other tightly. It was as if they had been searching the world for all eternity, and now they'd both finally found their soulmate. Such was their joy that they both burst into floods of tears. "BOO HOO HOO!" YUCK! Revolting, isn't it? What could be more vomit-inducing than a teacher in the throes of love? PUKE! The answer is simple-two teachers in the throes of love. DOUBLE PUKE! That first meeting was only the beginning. Soon Mr Lovey was always loitering outside the History classroom to blow a kiss to Miss Dovey. "MWAH!" HURL!

最终，两人拥抱在了一起。 冲击力!他们紧紧地抓在一起。 就好像他们一直在寻找这个世界上所有的永恒，现在他们都终于找到了他们的灵魂伴侣。 他们俩都高兴得大哭起来。 “boo hoo hoo !”讨厌的东西!令人反感，不是吗？ 还有什么能比一个陷入爱情阵痛的老师更让人呕吐呢？ 吐!答案很简单——两位老师在爱情的阵痛中。 再吐!第一次会面仅仅是个开始。 不久，洛维先生就经常在历史教室外面溜达，向多维小姐飞吻。 “MWAH !”扔!