1 Mr Pent's Balls

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MR PENT'S BALLS ONCE UPON A TIMES TABLE, there was a Maths teacher named Mr Pent. He certainly looked like a textbook Maths teacher, with his wire-rimmed glasses, brown suit and comb-over. However, Mr Pent was anything but your average Maths teacher.

Oh no, he was one of the world's very worst teachers. That was because Mr Pent's every waking moment was taken up with one dark obsession. Balls. He had a deep loathing of them. But where did this strange fixation with spherical objects come from? Our story begins when Mr Pent was still a child. It is easy to forget that teachers were once children, but in most cases they were. Some babies you knew immediately were destined to be teachers, because they were born with a teacherly scowl of disapproval on their face: Normal baby Teacher baby

As soon as he was put in his cot, Baby Pent was counting the beads above his head. Soon he was writing complex mathematical equations on the wall with his Alphabetti Spaghetti. It was when, as a toddler, he began giving his parents algebra homework that they knew for sure their little boy was destined to be a Maths teacher. One day, when Master Pent was just ten years old, That's 2x5. 7+3, 20-10, or 50÷5. he suffered a terrible accident. The boy was struck on the head by a ball. Not just any ball.

A DEMOLITION BALL. As balls go, this has to be one of the biggest and heaviest there is. After all, it is made of steel and swung from a crane to destroy buildings. BISH! BASH! BOSH! Being a child whose fate it was to become a Maths teacher, it will not surprise you to learn that Master Pent had no time for toys or games or anything that might be considered fun. No, this mathematics-loving child filled his days with times tables, prime numbers, fractions, quadratic equations, trigonometry and (for most of us normal folk, the absolutely dreaded) long division. In some countries, long division is actually a form of torture. "NO! NO! NOT LONG DIVISION! ANYTHING BUT LONG DIVISION! I CONFESS!" One rainy afternoon, Master Pent was on his way home from his school Maths Club. Maths Club was the world's most boring after-school club. Master Pent was, in fact,