7 Monty Monopolize

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MONTY MONOPOLIZE ONCE THERE WERE two brothers who dreaded their birthdays, Christmas time and even Easter. Surely all children love receiving presents? No. Not these two. Moe and Curly loathed those times of the year. The

reason was simple. Their father, Monty Monopolize, would give the boys toys, and then NEVER let them play with them. Instead, he would hog them all for himself. A car-and-racing-track set went straight into the garage for Monty to amuse himself with alone. Moe and Curly were not even allowed to look at it "in case they broke it with their eyes". A train set suffered a similar fate. It was kept under lock and key in the attic. And Father had hidden the key! A remote-controlled fighter plane would be taken to the park, and only flown by Monty. Although when he crashed into the park keeper he handed the remote control to his sons so they had to take the blame.

However, Monty's favourite toy in the world was BRICKO. BRICKO is a line of building sets, with bricks made of different-coloured plastic. Monty bought his two sons boxes and boxes of the stuff. "Merry Christmas, chaps!" Monty would announce. "Thank you, Father!" they would reply, their little eyes lighting up with glee. Then, as soon as they had unwrapped it and exclaimed, "BRICKO! BRILLIANT!", the man would snatch it back from them. "Don't you worry, chaps. Father will put this one together for you!" With that, he would disappear up to his bedroom and start building. Over the years, Monty had collected every single BRICKO set.

A BRICKO Queen Victoria A BRICKO clog A BRICKO jelly A BRICKO beard A BRICKO gerbil A BRICKO mobility scooter A BRICKO cactus A BRICKO marshmallow A BRICKO microwave oven A BRICKO poop* *WALLYFACT: BRICKO poop comes in three different sizes: small, medium and elephant. Mr Monopolize was bananas about BRICKO. He would snap the bricks to one another all day. CLICK! CLICK! CLICK! And all night. CLICK! CLICK! CLICK! If Moe and Curly tried to help snap the bricks together, he would shoo them out of his bedroom. "BEGONE! BRICKO IS ONLY TO BE PLAYED WITH BY GROWN-UPS! NOT CHILDREN!" Kids love to use BRICKO to build their own weird and wonderful creations. Not Monty. No, he followed the impossibly long instruction booklets to the absolute letter. BRICKO sets had to be built perfectly to plan.

One afternoon, Monty Monopolize was on his way home from work at the frozen-pea factory. His job was counting out the peas for each bag: 327. Not one more. Not one less. The man always walked home the long way round so that he could go past the BRICKO superstore. That afternoon Monty spotted a gigantic new building- set box that took up the whole of the shop window. It was the largest set BRICKO had ever produced. One million pieces! The Earth. Yes! A gigantic model of the Earth!