6 Miss Tutelage

MISS TUTELAGE HORROR UPON HORROR upon horror. Just imagine if your mum was also... your teacher. It is the WORST of both worlds! Think: you are in your room, lying on your bed, listening to some music, when your mum/teacher bursts

小姐，恐惧，恐惧，恐惧。 想象一下，如果你的妈妈也…… 你的老师。这是两个世界中最糟糕的！想象一下：你在房间里，躺在床上，听着音乐，这时你的妈妈/老师突然爆发了

in and demands, "SPELL 'EMBARRASSMENT'!" Or, even worse, you are at school in the middle of a Maths lesson when your mum/teacher bursts in and says, "Can I have your dirty socks and underpants now? I am nipping home to put on a boil wash!" And the entire classroom of thirty children laugh their heads off. "HA! HA! HA!" This is exactly the nightmare that Thomas Tutelage was facing when moving up from little school to big school. His mother, Tudor Tutelage, was an English teacher at WHOPPING HIGH. the school where Thomas was about to become one of her pupils. The pair lived together in a tiny house bursting with books. There were books on shelves, piled up on the floor and stacked on tables. They were Miss Tutelage's passion, and one she shared with her son. Thomas was something of a swot, and always had his nose in a book.

“拼写‘EMBARRASSMENT’！”或者，更糟糕的是，你正在学校上数学课，你的妈妈/老师突然闯进来说：“我现在可以把你的脏袜子和内裤给我吗？” 我要急匆匆地回家洗个热水澡！”整个教室的30个孩子都笑得前仰后合。 “哈!哈!哈!”这正是Thomas Tutelage从一所小学校升入一所大学校时所面临的噩梦。 他的母亲Tudor tutuage是一名英语老师。 托马斯即将成为她的学生的学校。 这对夫妇一起住在一间满是书的小房子里。 书架上、地板上和桌子上都堆满了书。 这是Tutelage小姐的爱好，也是她和儿子共同的爱好。 托马斯是个书呆子，总是埋头读书。

His mother was an old-fashioned lady, who wore thick glasses and had an explosion of frizzy hair. The first thing anyone noticed about her, though, was her height, or, rather, lack of it. Miss Tutelage only came up to most people's waists. Thomas had inherited the same explosion of frizzy hair, the need to wear thick glasses and the lack of height from his mother. Of course, the boy loved his mum, but he did find her embarrassing at times.

他的母亲是一位老派的女士，戴着厚厚的眼镜，一头卷曲的头发。 然而，人们首先注意到的是她的身高，或者更确切地说，是她的身高不足。 Tutelage小姐只长到大多数人的腰部。 托马斯从母亲那里继承了一头卷曲的头发，需要戴厚厚的眼镜，身高也不高。 当然，这个男孩爱他的妈妈，但他有时也觉得她很尴尬。

She was the kind of mother who, when you were out at the shops, would ask every ten seconds if you needed a pee. Or say in front of your friends, "Now, son, did you remember to wipe your botty?" So it will come as no surprise to you that Thomas had grave misgivings about becoming a pupil at his mother's school. The night before his first day, the boy sat up in his bed and asked, "Mum, what's it going to be like tomorrow? Us both being at the same school and all that?" "Oh, Tiny Tom-Tom..." she began, putting down her son's hot milk and perching on the edge of his bed. The boy grimaced. How he hated being called Tiny Tom-Tom! "It will be magically wondrous and wondrously magical," continued Mother. "Just think, first thing tomorrow morning, we'll be sitting side by side on the school bus like two peas in a pod! Together we can recite all the times tables to pass the time! Or, even better, sing the Alphabet Song! A, B, C...! What larks!" NO! thought Thomas. He wanted to be laughing

她是那种当你出去逛街时，每隔十秒钟就会问你要不要小便的母亲。 或者在朋友面前说：“儿子，你记得擦屁股了吗？”因此，托马斯对成为他母亲学校的学生有严重的疑虑，这对你来说就不足为奇了。 第一天上班的前一天晚上，小男孩从床上坐起来问：“妈妈，明天会是什么样子？” 我们俩在同一所学校？”“哦，小汤姆——汤姆……” 她开始了，放下儿子的热牛奶，坐在他的床边。 男孩做了个鬼脸。他多么讨厌别人叫他小汤姆汤姆啊！“这将是神奇的、奇妙的、神奇的，”妈妈继续说。 “想想看，明天早上第一件事，我们就会像豆荚里的两颗豆子一样并排坐在校车上！”我们可以一起背诵所有的乘法表来打发时间！或者，更好的是，唱字母歌！A, b, c…！云雀!”不!认为托马斯。 他想笑

and joking with the other kids on the school bus, not doing the two-times table and singing his way through all the letters of the alphabet! "Then Mummy can take the register!" she continued. "I've made sure you are in my class! And I won't need to call out your name, Tom-Tom- I can just say, 'Darling, are you here?' and you can reply, 'Here, Mummy dearest!'" NOO! thought Thomas. This was getting worse and worse. "Then we can share refreshing squash and yummy scrummy biscuits at breaktime! Fiddle-dee-dee!" NOOO! Nothing fiddle-dee-dee or indeed fiddle- dum-dum about it! "Now I know what you're thinking- I will be missing my mummy until lunchtime!" I WILL NOT BE THINKING THAT! he thought. NOT IN A BILLION YEARS! "We won't be missing each other too much, because we will have our lessons together, silly-billy bumkins!"

在校车上和其他孩子开玩笑，不做乘法表，一路唱完字母表中的所有字母！“这样妈妈就可以拿收银机了！”她接着说。 “我确保你在我的课上！”我不需要叫你的名字，汤姆——汤姆——我只要说，‘亲爱的，你在这儿吗？’你可以回答：‘给你，最亲爱的妈妈！“知道了!认为托马斯。 情况越来越糟。 “然后我们可以在休息时间分享新鲜的南瓜和美味的香酥饼干！”无稽之谈!”人参公鸡!这件事一点也不无聊，一点也不无聊！“现在我知道你在想什么了——我会想念妈妈直到午饭时间！”我不会那样想的！他想。 十亿年内都不会！“我们不会太想念彼此，因为我们会一起上课，傻比利·布姆金斯！”