4 Rosy Pooch

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POSY POOCH Posy POOCH WAS BARKING mad about dogs. She always wore bright woolly jumpers and leggings with pictures of puppies on them, finished off with doggy slippers. These were huge furry monstrosities shaped like St Bernards, and nearly as big as the real thing.

Her look was topped off with a hairband that had dog ears sticking out of the top. In the highly unlikely event that you had somehow missed Posy Pooch's love of dogs, she had customised the family car. First, she covered it in thick brown carpet so it looked like fur. Next she stuck a ball of black foam to the bonnet for a nose. The finishing touches were all made of fabric: eyes, ears, a tail and even a big floppy tongue hanging from the front grille. Posy Pooch named the car "THE MUTT MOBILE".

The lady had named the family home "POOCH PLACE". It was a house themed entirely around dogs. Posy had purchased: Wallpaper of Weimaraners Curtains adorned with Chihuahuas A Pekinese plate set A sofa in the shape of a schnauzer Mugs with Malteses painted on them A chow-chow coffee table A King Charles spaniel kettle Great Dane glasses A Rottweiler rug A bedspread of basset hounds

If that weren't enough, all the hedges in the front lawn had been cut into the shapes of poodles. In the back garden, she had a giant stone statue of a springer spaniel, which looked as if it were leaping into the pond. Posy had just the one human child. Her name was Peaches- Peaches Pooch. From a very young age, her mother had dressed Peaches up as a dog. This wasn't just for fancy-dress parties. Oh no. The poor girl had a wardrobe full of dog costumes and was made to wear them for all kinds of occasions.

A Boston terrier costume for a christening A Dalmatian outfit for a dental appointment A Border terrier suit for the school disco A golden retriever get- up for the Girl Guides' summer fete A collie costume for ballet practice A Pomeranian get-up for a playdate