3 Barry Bovver

BARRY BOVVER TO SAY BARRY BOVVER looked like King Kong would be unkind to King Kong. This beast of a man had:

BARRY BOVVER说BARRY BOVVER看起来像金刚对金刚不友善。 这个野兽般的人有：

A cauliflower ear (again this is unkind to cauliflowers) A buzzcut A broken nose A toothless smile Stubble as rough as sandpaper Arms thicker than tree trunks A super-wide neck (actually wider than his head) Thighs bursting out of his jeans Feet the size of ironing boards But his brain was the size of a ping-pong ball. Whenever he was called upon to use it, such as when asked to spell his own name, he would cry, "MY BRAIN HURTS!" Fortunately, most of the time Barry Bovver didn't have to use his brain. That's because his job was all about how

一个花椰菜的耳朵（这又一次对花椰菜不厚道了）一个剃须的断鼻子一个没有牙齿的微笑像砂纸一样粗糙的胡茬比树干还粗的胳膊一个超宽的脖子（实际上比他的头还宽）从牛仔裤里伸出来的大腿有烫衣板那么大但是他的大脑有乒乓球那么大。 每当有人叫他用这个词时，比如让他拼自己的名字，他就会喊：“我的脑子好痛！”幸运的是，大多数时候巴里·伯弗都不用动脑筋。 那是因为他的工作就是如何

big his muscles were. Barry was a Strongman. He competed with other strongmen all over the country to see who was the strongest strongman of them all. In these contests, the strongmen would: Lift a double-decker bus above their heads "OI! PUT THIS BUS DOWN! I AM TRYING TO GET TO WORK!" Wrestle a rhinoceros "MOO!" Pull a tree out of the ground YANK! Eat a tank "BURP!" Perform a squat-lift, holding a walrus "HOOT!" Run a race with a fridge- freezer strapped to their back "GRUNT!" Flip a fire engine over SMASH! Do a staring competition with a hamster NIBBLE! Snap a train carriage in half KERUNCH! Do a tug-of-war with an aeroplane as it tries to take off "EXCUSE ME! I AM TRYING TO GO ON HOLIDAY. WILL YOU PLEASE LET GO?"

他的肌肉很大。巴里是个强人。 他和全国各地的其他铁腕人物比赛，看谁是最强壮的铁腕人物。 在这些比赛中，这些强人会：将一辆双层巴士举过头顶“喂！把这辆巴士放下！我要去工作！”和犀牛摔跤“哞！”把树从地里拔出来！吃一罐“嗝！”做一个深蹲举，拿着海象“呼！”在他们的背上绑上冰柜跑一场比赛。把消防车掀翻！与仓鼠啃食做一场凝视比赛！把火车车厢撕成两半！当飞机试图起飞时，和它进行拔河比赛。我想去度假。 请你放手好吗？”

Just like Barry, all the other famous strongmen looked as if they'd been inflated. There was: Micky Might: famous for competing in only a pair of very tight red underpants. Chaz Carnage: he ate a shark for breakfast. Vince Vicious: legend has it he once head-butted a house, and the house crumbled to the ground. MUNGO MUSGLE: he only worked out his top half so he had the biggest chest and arms and the smallest spindliest legs. The Ogre: he only spoke in grunts. From both ends. PETE PUNCH: he could punch a hole in concrete, and often would

就像巴里一样，所有其他著名的铁腕人物看起来都像是被夸大了。 米奇·梅因只穿着一条非常紧身的红色内裤参加比赛而闻名。 Chaz Carnage：他吃了一条鲨鱼当早餐。 文斯·维瑟斯：传说他曾经用头撞过一所房子，房子倒塌在地。 芒戈·穆格尔：他只锻炼了他的上半身，所以他有最大的胸部和手臂和最小的细腿。 食人魔：他只会咕哝。 从两端。皮特·潘趣：他可以在混凝土上打一个洞，而且经常这样做

Gunter Girth: he was so wide he couldn't fit through any door. Dick Dense: famous for being the cleverest of the strongmen, as he once got a C in Pottery. Thunder Thump: his fists were bigger than his head. And the one strongwoman, Cloris Clout: she was the most terrifying of them all. Cloris could lift all the strongmen with one hand. And an elephant in the other. Whenever Barry entered one of these strongmen competitions, which happened most weekends at PUNFAIRS and in pub car parks, his family had to come too: his wife, Bianca, and their daughter, Brian. I know what you are thinking: who would call their daughter Brian?

甘特周长：他太宽了，任何门都进不去。 迪克·登塞：以最聪明的铁腕人物而闻名，因为他曾经在陶艺课上得了C。 他的拳头比头还大。 还有一个女强人，克罗丽丝·格劳特：她是所有人中最可怕的。 克洛丽丝可以用一只手拉起所有的铁腕人物。 另一头大象。 每当巴里参加这种在PUNFAIRS和酒吧停车场举行的强人比赛时，他的家人也必须到场：他的妻子比安卡（Bianca）和女儿布莱恩（Brian）。 我知道你在想什么：谁会叫自己的女儿布莱恩？