2 Belinda Brag

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BELINDA BRAG BELLE WAS A LITTLE GIRL with a big problem. Her mother. Belinda saw her daughter, Belle, as a miniature version of her. Belinda would do the little girl's hair in a huge do like hers, dress her up in a bright pink dress just like

hers and even put a string of pearls on her, just like hers. Poor Belle ended up looking like mini-Mum. In fact, if you looked at the pair, with Belinda standing a few paces behind Belle, you might think they were identical.* *WALLYFACT: This is something I invented called "perspective" The problem was that Belle didn't want to be like her mother. She wanted to be herself. As soon as her mother's back was turned, she shook down her hair, pulled off her pearls and whipped off her dress to reveal a T-shirt and denim shorts underneath. Now that Belle looked like herself, Belle felt like herself.

Despite being sent to the poshest girls' school in the country. LADY HAUGHTY'S SCHOOL FOR YOUNG LADIES Belle loved doing things like: Standing in puddles Making mud pies Climbing trees Running through tall grass Digging for worms Playing conkers Chasing pigeons Skimming stones Rolling down hills Being dragged through a HEDGE backwards Every afternoon when Belle trudged out of HAUGHTY'S SCHOOL, she would go bright red with embarrassment at seeing what her mother had on that day:

A fake fur coat in the height of summer... Sparkly diamond earrings with gems so big and heavy her earlobes dropped down to her bottom... Designer sunglasses spotted with rubies... A ballgown with a train as long as a football pitch... A mock crocodile-skin handbag over her wrist that was so large you could fit an actual crocodile in it... Oh, Mum, no! thought the girl. As she paced nearer and nearer to the school gates, Belle could hear her mother holding court with all the other parents waiting for their little princesses. Belinda would brag and brag and brag. Each day of the week she would make up some fresh nonsense. I took my Belle out of Sports Day because I didn't feel it was fair on all your girls. I am sorry to say my Belle would win every single race! she boasted one Monday. "M-U-M!" bawled Belle, desperate for her to stop, going as red as a tomato.

My Belle is only twelve, but all the teachers say she is a genius. She could go straight to university, but it just wouldn't be fair on the students there- she would show them all up!" Belinda boasted on Tuesday. "NOOOO! STOP!" pleaded her daughter, going as red as a post box. In the school pantomime, I know they wanted my Belle to play every single role. But I said to the Drama mistress, No! Please please, please give the other much less talented children a chance!* was Wednesday's boast. "PLEASE, MUM, NO!" 'Of course, my Belle can speak a hundred languages. She can even speak languages that haven't been invented yet.' This was on Thursday. "MUM! THIS IS SOOOOOOOOOOOO EMBARRASSING!" Belle was now going as red as a red ant. But Belinda had saved the worst until last. Step forward, Friday...