1 Peter Pong

PETER PONG THERE ARE HUNDREDS of ways in which parents can embarrass their children: Spitting on a handkerchief and wiping your chin with it.

父母有几百种方法可以让他们的孩子感到尴尬：在手帕上吐痰，用手帕擦下巴。

"SPUT! HOLD STILL!" "YUCK! GET OFF ME!" Wheeling you around in a pram even though you grew out of it years ago. "OOH! MY beautiful IKKLE BABY!" "I'M NOT A BABY! I AM THIRTEEN YEARS OLD!" Making you put on a song-and-dance show every time your grandmother comes to visit. "DANCE! DANCE! DANCE FOR US!" "I AM NOT A PERFORMING MONKEY!" "DANCE, MONKEY, DANCE!" Giving you a big slobbery kiss at the school gates. "MWAH!" "GET OFF ME! I AM COVERED IN SLOBBER!"

“SPUT !不要动!”“啐!放开我！”用婴儿车推着你转，尽管你早就不需要了。 “哦!我美丽的IKKLE宝贝！”“我不是婴儿！”我十三岁了！”每次你奶奶来看你的时候都让你表演歌舞表演。 “跳舞!跳舞!为我们跳舞吧！”“我不是表演的猴子！”“跳吧，猴子，跳吧！”在学校门口给你一个大大的流口水之吻。 “MWAH !”“放开我！”我浑身都是口水！”

Dressing you up like a Victorian sailor boy for a family wedding. "YOU LOOK delightful!" "I LOOK LIKE I SHOULD HAVE GONE DOWN WITH THE SHIP!" Telling you over and over again that it was so much harder in their day. "We didn't have any sweets in my day, my lad. If we were hungry, we would have to suck on a pebble." "OH, GIVE IT A REST, DAD! YOUR MUM IS THE QUEEN!" Cutting your fringe with a pair of nail scissors. "HOLD STILL!" "MUM! IT'S ALL WONKY!" "WONKY IS COOL! ALL THE KIDS ARE DOING IT!" "NO, IT ISN'T COOL AND IT NEVER WILL BE!"

把你打扮得像个维多利亚时代的水手去参加家庭婚礼。 “你看起来很愉快！”“我看起来应该和船一起沉下去！”一遍又一遍地告诉你，他们那时候的生活要艰难得多。 “我的孩子，我们小时候可没有糖果吃。 如果我们饿了，我们就不得不吮吸一块鹅卵石。” “哦，歇一歇吧，爸爸！”你妈妈是女王！”用指甲剪剪你的刘海。 “不要动!”“妈妈!一切都不稳定！”“摇摆很酷！”所有的孩子都这么做！”“不，这一点都不酷，而且永远都不会酷！”

Telling all your friends at your twelfth birthday party stories about exactly what you used to deposit in your nappy when you were a baby. "When I picked her up out of her cot, I thought it was only a number one, but by the smug look on her face I knew it had to be a number two... "MUM!" However, very few parents can embarrass their child as much as this man. Peter and his wife, Penny, had a daughter, and they named her Ping. Ping Pong. That wasn't the embarrassing thing. The thing that was embarrassing was Peter Pong's feet. The man had the cheesiest feet in the world.* *WALLYFACT: For many years, the world-record holder for stinkiest feet was a little girl-Rita Reek. Rita could empty her school in seconds when she waltzed in wearing her flip-flops. The teachers and pupils who couldn't scramble out of the doors in time were knocked out cold by the stink. That meant no schoolwork for Rita! Hurrah!

在你十二岁生日派对上告诉你所有的朋友，当你还是个婴儿的时候，你到底在尿布里放了什么。 “当我把她从婴儿床上抱起来的时候，我以为她只是个一号宝宝，但从她脸上沾沾自喜的表情，我知道她一定是二号宝宝…… “妈妈!”然而，很少有父母能像这个男人那样让他们的孩子难堪。 彼得和他的妻子佩妮有一个女儿，他们给她起名叫萍。 乒乓球。这不是尴尬的事情。 让人尴尬的是彼得·庞的脚。 那人的脚是世界上最丑的。WALLYFACT：多年来，最臭脚的世界纪录保持者是一个小女孩——丽塔·瑞克。 当丽塔穿着人字拖大摇大摆地走进教室时，她可以在几秒钟内清空她的教室。 没能及时从门里爬出来的老师和学生都被臭气熏晕了。 这意味着丽塔不用做作业了！好哇!