9 Walter The Wasp

WALTER the Wasp WALTER WAS AN unlikely bully. He was unusually short for his age, wore black-rimmed glasses and was always flamboyantly dressed with a velvet bow tie and a natty yellow-and-black blazer. Walter Never hit anyone-instead he would hurt people with his insults.

“黄蜂”沃尔特不像个恶霸。 就他的年龄而言，他显得异常矮小，戴着一副黑框眼镜，总是穿着华丽的天鹅绒领结和一件整洁的黄黑相间的运动夹克。 沃尔特从不打任何人——相反，他会用他的侮辱来伤害别人。

His tongue was like a wasp's tail: it could deliver a painful sting. The boy was a master at making up cruel nicknames for people. His Spanish teacher, Mr Gari, who was bald, Walter named "Garibaldi" A teacher with a beard became simply "The Gnome" For the wide Miss Tink he gave the nickname "Miss Tank" The flappy-eared Art teacher became "Ear-Wings" The hairy PE teacher was dubbed" Caveman" Dr Trunter became "Dr Grunter" as he always blew off when he bent over to pick up a pen. Miss May, who couldn't control her class, became "Miss Mayhem" The long-armed librarian became "the Orang-utan". The sweaty Head of Science he named "Puddles", as that is what he had under his arms.

他的舌头像黄蜂的尾巴，能刺出痛苦的刺。 这个男孩很擅长给别人取难听的外号。 他的西班牙语老师加里先生是个秃头，沃尔特给他起名叫“加里波第”；留胡子的老师被简单地称为“侏儒”，因为他给胖胖的丁克小姐起了个绰号“坦克小姐”；竖起耳朵的美术老师被称为“翅膀耳朵”；毛茸茸的体育老师被称为“洞穴人”；特伦特博士被称为“咕噜特博士”，因为他弯腰拿笔时总是吹气。 梅老师因为无法控制自己的班级而被称为“混乱小姐”，长臂图书管理员被称为“猩猩”。 他把那个满头大汗的科学系主任命名为“水坑”，因为他腋下就是这个东西。

Mr Fump the Woodwork teacher, who'd sawn off one of his fingers in a woodworking accident, became" Fump the Stump" Walter was a wit who had an answer for every thing. This infuriated his teachers. When his Maths teacher asked him, "If I have six apples in one hand, and seven in the other, what do I have?" "Big hands," replied Walter in his withering drawl. When a teacher asked, "Why don't any of you ever answer my questions?" Walter quipped, "You are the teacher- I was rather hoping you would know." One morning, the headmistress enquired, "Walter, why are you late?" The boy answered, "I was merely obeying the sign." "Which sign, boy?" "School ahead. Go slow."

木工教师范普先生在一次木工事故中锯掉了自己的一根手指，后来成了“树桩范普先生”。沃尔特是个机智的人，对任何事情都有答案。 这激怒了他的老师。 当他的数学老师问他：“如果我一只手有六个苹果，另一只手有七个，我有多少？”“一双大手，”沃尔特用他那令人厌烦的慢吞吞的声调回答道。 当一位老师问道：“为什么你们都不回答我的问题？”沃尔特打趣道：“你是老师——我倒希望你知道。” 一天早上，女校长问：“沃尔特，你为什么迟到？”男孩回答说：“我只是服从指示而已。” “哪个标志，孩子？””学校。 走慢。”

"Are you having trouble hearing?" demanded another teacher. "No, sir. I am having trouble listening," replied Walter with a roll of his eyes. "If five people all gave you five thousand pounds, what would you have?" "A private-school education," Walter purred. "Walter! Why on earth are you writing your multiplications on the floor?" "But, sir, you told me not to use tables." "Walter! Where's your exercise book?" "At home, miss." "What is it doing there?" "Having a much better time than me." "Walter, how do you change centimetres to metres?" "Cut out the 'centi' part. Easy-peasy, pudding and pie!" "If you place a slide under the microscope and can't see anything, what might the problem be, Walter?" "You are blind, perhaps?"

“你听力有问题吗？”另一位老师问道。 “不，先生。我听不清，”沃尔特翻了个白眼，回答道。 “如果五个人都给你五千英镑，你会有多少？”“私立学校教育，”沃尔特咕噜着。 “沃尔特!你到底为什么要把乘法写在地板上？”“但是，先生，您告诉过我不要用桌子。” “沃尔特!你的练习本在哪里？”“在家里，小姐。” “它在那儿干什么？”“比我玩得开心多了。” “沃尔特，你怎么把厘米变成米呢？”“把‘centi’部分剪掉。 放轻松，布丁和派！”“如果你把一张载玻片放在显微镜下，什么也看不见，那可能是什么问题，沃尔特？”“你是不是瞎了？”

"Sir, I regret to inform you that the dog ate my homework," announced Walter. "You expect me to believe that?" thundered the teacher. "Why would your dog eat your homework?" "Perhaps if I had smeared it with dog food first...?" Such was the power of Walter's dark wit that soon everyone in his school had been on the receiving end of his verbal slap-downs. One day, the headmistress, Mrs Cankle, spotted Walter tormenting a younger boy who had an unusually large nose. "Roger?" purred Walter. "What now, Walter?" "Does your nose always arrive five minutes before you do?" "WALTER! There you are!" interrupted the headmistress, wearing her favourite purple dress.

“先生，我很遗憾地通知您，狗把我的作业吃了，”沃尔特宣布。 “你以为我会相信吗？”老师吼道。 “为什么你的狗要吃你的作业？”“如果我先在上面涂上狗粮……”沃尔特的黑机智的力量是如此之大，以至于很快他学校里的每个人都成了他口头斥责的对象。 有一天，女校长坎克尔夫人发现沃尔特正在折磨一个鼻子特别大的小男孩。 “罗杰？”沃尔特咕噜着。“现在怎么办，沃尔特？”“你的鼻子总是比你早到五分钟吗？”“沃尔特!你来了！”女校长插嘴说，她穿着她最喜欢的紫色连衣裙。