7 Vain Valentine

Vain VALENTINE VALENTINE WAS HANDSOME, and boy did he know it! He was so vain he couldn't walk past a mirror without checking his reflection in it. One time. some boys at his school came into the toilets and caught Valentine kissing himself in the mirror.

虚荣的瓦伦丁瓦伦丁长得漂亮，这一点他是不知道的！他太自负了，每次走过镜子都要看看镜子里的自己。 一次。他学校的几个男孩走进厕所，撞见瓦伦丁对着镜子亲吻自己。

Valentine believed that because he was handsome he should be famous too. He had No talents of any kind but, like a lot of famous people, he wasn't going to let that hold him back. The boy annoyed everyone by acting as if he were famous, strutting around the school wearing sunglasses. He never took them off, even when it was dark, and spent all day bumping into things as he couldn't see where he was going. BOOF! "Ouch!" If a teacher handed him a detention slip, he would assume they were asking for his autograph, scribble on it and hand it back to them. "Have that framed! Instant heirloom!" Valentine would refuse to take part in sports in case a stray ball bashed into his perfect face. "Sorry, guys! My face is my fortune! If I looked like you, I would be broke!"

瓦伦丁认为，因为他长得帅，他也应该出名。 他没有任何天赋，但就像许多名人一样，他不会因此而退缩。 那个男孩戴着墨镜在学校里趾高气扬地走来走去，好像他是个名人，这让每个人都很恼火。 即使天黑了，他也从不摘下眼镜。他整天都在撞东西，因为他看不见自己要去哪里。 BOOF !“哎哟!”如果老师递给他一张留校单，他会以为是要他签名，在上面草草写一下，然后交还给老师。 “把它框起来！”即时传家宝!”瓦伦丁会拒绝参加体育运动，以防一个迷路的球砸到他完美的脸。 “对不起,伙计们!我的脸就是我的财富！如果我长得像你，我就破产了！”

Once, he developed a big red spot on the end of his nose, and was so horrified he didn't come into school for a whole term. "NOOOOOOOOOO! I thought I was FLAWLESS! ABSOLUTELY FLAWLESS!" Valentine didn't have time for friends. Instead he spent the whole of break-time and lunchtime taking SELFIES. CLICK! CLICK! CLICK! At last count, he had 895,731 pictures of himself on his phone. During any downtime, he would scroll through these, admiring himself. "That's a great shot of me. Another great shot of me. Wow, yet another great shot of me. Why didn't anyone tell me I am SOOOOOOO handsome?"

有一次，他的鼻尖上长了一个大红斑，他非常害怕，一整个学期都没来上学。 “NOOOOOOOOOO !我以为我是完美无瑕的！绝对完美的!”瓦伦丁没有时间交朋友。 相反，他在整个休息时间和午餐时间都在自拍。 点击!点击!点击!据最新统计，他的手机里有895731张自己的照片。 在任何空闲时间，他都会翻阅这些照片，欣赏自己。 “这是一张很棒的照片。 我的另一张好照片。哇，又一张我的好照片。 为什么没有人告诉我我很帅？”

Valentine would claim that Valentine's Day was named after him. He would send hundreds of Valentine's cards to himself, which he would open during lessons to try to impress everybody. "Oh no, this is embarrassing! Yet another card professing undying love for little old me!" The girls in his school would never send him a card. He might have been good-looking, but his personality made him repulsive. Valentine really was one of the world's worst children.

瓦伦丁声称情人节是以他的名字命名的。 他会给自己寄几百张情人节贺卡，并在上课时拆开，试图给每个人留下深刻印象。 “哦，不，这太尴尬了！”又一张卡片，表达对我永恒的爱！”他学校的女生从来不会给他寄贺卡。 他也许长得很好看，但他的个性使他令人反感。 瓦伦丁真的是世界上最坏的孩子之一。

One day, Valentine had what he thought was a brilliant idea. An idea he was sure would propel him to stardom, SUPERSTARDOM or even MEGASTARDOM. He would enter the record books by setting a new world record for the biggest game of kiss chase ever. Valentine would be the only boy, and there would be hundreds of girls pursuing him, desperate for a kiss. Just the thought of it made him smirk the smirkiest smirk that had ever been smirked. But he couldn't do it alone, so Valentine put up hundreds of posters with his face on them all around the school. GIRLS, THIS IS YOUR CHANCE OF A LIFETIME TO KISS THE HANDSOMEST BOY IN THE SCHOOL, IF NOT THE WORLD: VALENTINE. (OF COURSE.) MEET ME IN THE SCHOOL PLAYGROUND ON FRIDAY AT 4PM FOR THE WORLD'S BIGGEST GAME OF KISS CHASE. PRETTY GIRLS ONLY, PLEASE.

一天，瓦伦丁想到了一个绝妙的主意。 他确信这个想法会让他成为明星，超级明星，甚至是超级巨星。 他创造了一项新的世界纪录，创造了有史以来最大的追吻游戏。 瓦伦丁将是唯一的男孩，而会有成百上千的女孩追求他，渴望一个吻。 一想到这一点，他就得意地笑了，这是有史以来最得意的笑。 但他一个人做不到，所以瓦伦丁在学校里贴了数百张印有他头像的海报。 姑娘们，这是你们一生难得的机会，可以亲吻学校里最帅的男孩，如果不是世界上最帅的男孩的话：瓦伦丁。 (当然)。周五下午4点在学校操场见我，一起玩世界上最盛大的追吻游戏。 只请漂亮的女孩。