10 No No Noe

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No No NOE ONCE THERE LIVED a little girl called Noe. Noe only ever used one word, and that word was "no" It was a word she loved. It was a word that if you said it enough would drive everyone else crazy. Nothing gave Noe greater pleasure than seeing the chaos the word "no" caused. She thought of the word

as a stick of dynamite. If you used enough of them, you could cause a huge EXPLOSION. KABOOM! Whatever her mum or dad asked her to do at home, the answer was always the same. "Noe, please can you clean your room now?" "No!" "Noe, don't be greedy! Please can you leave one of those chocolates for me?" "No!" "NOE! WILL YOU TURN YOUR MUSIC DOWN?!" "No!" Soon her mum and dad would be hopping up and down on the spot with fury. "NO, NO, NOE!"

At school Noe found the word "no" had an even more maddening effect. Our story begins one morning in the school playground when Noe was slurping a thick chocolate milkshake. SLURP! When the girl had had enough, she threw the half-full paper cup at the headmaster's feet, splattering his shoes and trousers with chocolate milkshake. As always, Mr Gubbins was dressed immaculately in a three-piece suit with a natty bow tie. He HATED litter, and wanted the whole school to be spotless like him. "Noe? Pick up your litter at once!" demanded the headmaster.

"No." "YES!" "No." "You will pick up your litter at once!" "No." Mr Gubbins was turning scarlet with fury. "Noe! See me in my office at once!" "No." "Right, you have a detention!" "No." "A double detention!" "No!" "Well, I... er, I um, I am excluding you from school with immediate effect!" "No!" "Right, that's it! That's my last warning. Do you understand me?" The veins in Mr Gubbins's head were throbbing now. "No," replied the little girl with a smirk. Noe rarely got such a huge reaction from her favourite little word.

"I mean that I am not giving you any more warnings. I think you already knew that, didn't you, Noe?" "No." "Well, I think you do, Noe." "No." "Yes." "No." "Yes." "No." The headmaster then tried to trick Noe, by saying "no" instead of "yes". "No." Noe paused for a moment before saying, "No." Gubbins dropped "A-WOOOOOOOOOOOO!" to his hands and knees, and began howling like a wolf.