8 Windy Mindy

Windy MINDY ONCE UPON A TIME there was a little girl who was known as windy mindy. Way back when she was a baby, Mindy discovered she had the most awful talent for breaking wind. Bubble bombs, thurps, TOILET TUNES, putt-putts, LINDER-BURPS, trouser toots. BLURTS, bench-warmers, LITTLE TOMMY SQUEAKERS, HONKERS, bottom yodels, call them what you will, Mindy would delight in letting them rip.

从前有个小女孩，大家都叫她Windy MINDY。 早在她还是个婴儿的时候，明迪就发现自己有最可怕的放屁天赋。 泡泡弹，thurps, TOILET TUNES, puttputs, linter - burps，裤脚。 脱口而出的人，板凳上的人，小汤米，尖叫者，咆哮者，低声下气的人，随便你怎么称呼他们，明迪会很高兴让他们尽情地表演。

The little girl was so good at trumping, she could compete in it for her country.* Mindy's wind took on many different shapes and sizes. The little girl could do SILENT ones, LOUD ones, DEAFENING ones, long ones, SHORT ones, ones that went rat-tat-tat like a machine gun and even explosive ones. Mindy's was a talent that appalled everyone unfortunate enough to be near her. But the little girl was full of mischief and absolutely loved the chaos her wind caused. There would be STAMPEDES in supermarkets, CHARGES in churches and PANDEMONIUM in patisseries. People would often be trampled underfoot as they tried to escape the smell.

这个小女孩非常擅长王牌，她可以代表她的国家参加比赛。* Mindy的风呈现出许多不同的形状和大小。 小女孩可以做无声的，大声的，震耳欲聋的，长的，短的，像机关枪一样咔嗒咔嗒响的，甚至是爆炸性的。 明迪的天赋让所有不幸接近她的人都感到震惊。 但是这个小女孩充满了恶作剧，并且绝对喜欢她的风造成的混乱。 超市里会发生踩踏事件，教堂里会发生收费事件，糕点店里会出现混乱。 当人们试图逃离气味时，经常会被踩在脚下。

Mindy would deliberately fill herself up with food she knew would make her bottom burp. She would devour all of the following in gigantic quantities: Baked beans Prune juice Dried figs Porridge Brown sauce Sherbert Turnips Mushy peas Sweetcorn Curried eggs Fizzy pop Beetroot Cabbage Lentil soup Radishes Cauliflower cheese Bananas (which have turned black) Raw onions Brussels sprouts Stuffing

明迪会故意让自己吃饱她知道会让她屁股打嗝的食物。 她会大量地吞下下面所有的东西：烤豆西梅汁无花果干粥棕色酱雪梨萝卜糊状豌豆甜玉米咖喱蛋汽水甜菜根卷心菜扁豆汤萝卜花椰菜奶酪香蕉（已经变黑了）生洋葱抱子甘蓝填料

At school the teachers would often send Mindy out of lessons for her 'outbursts'. Mindy would claim it was an accident, but the truth was she did it on purpose. Every single time. Either the noise would be so disruptive, or the smell so overpowering; that the classroom had to be evacuated. Then off Mindy would be sent to the headmistress's office, where she would be given a stern ticking-off. "Mindy, I am extremely disappointed in you," announced the headmistress on the particular morning that our story begins. The lady kept the door of her office open as a precaution, just in case the little girl let another one go. "Sorry, Headmistress," said Mindy with a smirk. "This is the twelfth time this week a teacher has sent you to my office. And it's only Tuesday." "I said sorry!"

在学校里，老师经常因为明迪的“情绪爆发”而把她赶出教室。 明迪会说那是个意外，但事实是她是故意的。 每一次。要么是噪音太吵，要么是气味太难闻；教室里的人必须被疏散。 然后明迪会被送到女校长办公室，在那里她会受到严厉的斥责。 “明迪，我对你非常失望，”在我们的故事开始的那个早晨，女校长宣布。 作为预防措施，这位女士一直开着办公室的门，以防小女孩再放掉一个。 “对不起，校长。”明迪得意地笑着说。 “这是本周第十二次老师叫你来我办公室了。 而且今天才星期二。”“我说对不起了！”

"Sorry isn't good enough! Today Miss Prism had to send you out of her maths lesson for making 'a nois? like thunder'. Yesterday your poor history teacher, Miss Ping, actually fainted in the classroom at the pong and had to be taken to the sickbay." "I think Ping did the pong," suggested Mindy with another smirk. "It's Miss Ping and, for your information, in the twenty years she has worked at this school I have never known the fragrant Miss Ping to make a pong. Now what do you have to say for yourself?" An evil thought shot across the girl's mind. came a sound. There was a short delay as the pongtastic aroma floated across the room. Finally the dark and dirty SMELL snaked its way up the headmistress's nostrils. The lady hastily covered her mouth and nose with her handkerchief.

“对不起是不够的！”今天Prism小姐不得不把你赶出她的数学课，因为你制造了噪音？ 像雷”。昨天，你们可怜的历史老师平小姐竟然在教室的乒乓球处晕倒了，不得不被送到医务室。” “我想乒乓是平打的，”明迪又傻笑着说。 “这是平小姐，告诉你，在她在这所学校工作的二十年里，我从来没有听说过这位芬芳的平小姐会打乒乓球。 现在你有什么要为自己辩解的吗？”一个邪恶的念头闪过女孩的脑海。 传来一个声音。过了一会儿，美妙的香味飘过了整个房间。 最后，那股又黑又脏的气味蜿蜒地钻进了女校长的鼻孔。 这位女士急忙用手帕捂住嘴和鼻子。