2 Bertha the Blubberer

BERTHA the Blubberer BERTHA WAS A BLUBBERER. She would sob. She would howl. She would bawl. The little girl was only eight years old, but she must have spent seven of them blubbering. Anything and EVERYTHING would set her off.

伯莎是个胖子。 她会抽泣。她会嚎叫。 她会嚎啕大哭。这个小女孩只有八岁，但她肯定花了七岁的时间在哭泣。 任何事、任何事都会使她生气。

Loud noise Silence Bright lights The dark Small dogs Large dogs Medium-sized dogs Rodents of any kind Red socks Frogs Toads Tadpoles especially Bouncing balls Fireworks Dust The heat The cold Ducks, geese and swans Orange juice with bits in Burnt toast Kettles Stickers Wet grass Park benches Men with tattoos Low-flying aircraft The colour purple Cat hair Rain Waterslides Mud Anything made of plastic Christmas crackers The raisins in raisin biscuits Bouncy castles Smells of any kind, even nice ones Clouds Moustaches Vegetables Burps Monobrows Nostril hair Ear hair Anyone in a hat

嘈杂的噪音寂静明亮的灯光黑暗的小狗大狗中型狗任何种类的啮目动物红袜子青蛙蟾蜍蝌蚪尤其是弹跳的球烟花灰尘炎热寒冷的鸭子，鹅和天鹅桔汁烧焦的烤面包壶贴纸湿草公园长椅有纹身的男人低空飞行的飞机紫色猫毛雨水滑梯泥任何塑料制成的圣诞饼干葡萄干葡萄干饼干有弹性的城堡各种气味即使是漂亮的云胡子蔬菜打嗝单眉鼻孔头发耳朵头发戴帽子的人

The little girl had a younger brother called William. From the day he was born Bertha was beastly to him. She hated having to share her parents' attention. Then one day Bertha discovered a Wonderful thing. Ste could cry and blame it all on her little brother. And the more she cried, the more attention SHE got. So the girl thought up more and more wicked plans to make William look horrid. Bertha's favourite ploy was to cry and cry and cry alone in her bedroom, her pretending her brother had hurt her. When Mother bounded up the stairs to see what was wrong, Bertha would blub through a river of tears, "Mama, it was William! He pinched me! William pinched me, hard, on the arm!" Sometimes she would elaborate on the lie by actually pinching herself. Bertha would then offer up the very tiny red BLOTCH on her arm as evidence of her brother's beastliness. "WHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH she would wail.

这个小女孩有一个弟弟叫威廉。 从他出生的那一天起，伯莎就像野兽一样待他。 她讨厌分担父母的注意力。 有一天，伯莎发现了一件奇妙的事。 她会哭，把这一切都归咎于她的弟弟。 她哭得越多，得到的关注就越多。 于是女孩想出了越来越多的邪恶计划，让威廉看起来很可怕。 伯莎最喜欢的策略就是一个人在卧室里哭啊哭啊哭，假装哥哥伤害了她。 当妈妈跳上楼去看发生了什么事时，伯莎总是泪如泉涌地哭着说：“妈妈，是威廉！他捏我！威廉狠狠地掐了我的胳膊！”有时她会用掐自己的方式来详细说明这个谎言。 伯莎就会拿出她胳膊上的小红点来证明她哥哥的兽性。 她会呜咽。

Then Mother would burst into her son's room next door to confront the boy. Young William was usually reading or playing quietly with his earplugs in. He had endured a lifetime of bawling, and had therefore fashioned earplugs out of marshmallows so he could get on with things in peace. "Why did you pinch your darling sister?" Mother would demand. "What?" William would reply. It was hard to hear with marshmallows in his ears. "And why have you got marshmallows in your ears?" William would take out the marshmallows and protest his innocence. "I haven't touched her, Mother," the boy would plead. "I have been reading in my room the whole time!"

然后母亲会冲进隔壁儿子的房间，与儿子对质。 小威廉通常戴着耳塞安静地读书或玩耍。 他忍受了一辈子的哭闹，因此用棉花糖做了耳塞，这样他就可以平静地生活了。 “你为什么捏你亲爱的妹妹？”母亲会要求。 “什么?”威廉会回答。 他耳朵里塞着棉花糖，听不清。 “你耳朵里为什么有棉花糖？”威廉会拿出棉花糖，说他是无辜的。 “我没有碰过她，妈妈，”男孩恳求道。 “我一直在我的房间里看书！”

"A likely story!" Mother would declare. "No pudding for you after dinner tonight!" "But...!" "No pudding for a week!" "But...'" "No pudding for a month!" Eventually the boy would fall silent. He liked pudding. But not as much as his sister. The little girl loved pudding. Even more than she loved crying. Once, at the local bakery, she even offered to swap her brother for a slice of chocolate fudge cake. It was a large slice, but still...

“一个可信的故事！”母亲会宣布。 “今晚晚饭后没有布丁给你！”“但是……!”“一个星期不吃布丁！”“但是……“一个月不吃布丁！”最后男孩沉默了。 他喜欢布丁。但比不上他妹妹。 小女孩喜欢吃布丁。 甚至比她爱哭还要多。 有一次，在当地的面包店，她甚至提出用她的兄弟换一片巧克力软糖蛋糕。 这是一个很大的切片，但仍然……