10 Sofia Sofa

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SOFIA Sofa ALL SOFIA WANTED TO DO was sit on the sofa all day, watching television. Sofia Sofa was without doubt one of the absolute worst children in the world. She never went to school, or helped her mum with chores around the house, or even got up to have dinner at the dining table. All she did was sit and watch TV.

It didn't matter what was on: Soap operas, GAME SHOWS, detective shows, gardening programmes, talent shows, CARTOONS, POLITICAL PROGRAMMES, even shows about old boring junk that the presenter pretended were priceless ANTIQUES. As long as the screen was flickering, Sofia was glued to it. Adverts were her absolute favourite. Sometimes she felt that the programmes got in the way of the adverts. All day and all night Sofia would sit slumped on the sofa in front of the TV, eating and watching. Crisps, biscuits, cake, sweets and chocolate were her favourite foods to gobble as she watched. If an advert came on for crisps, biscuits, cake, sweets or chocolate then she would shout out to her mum to bring her more. "M-U-V-V-E-R!" she would yell. "CHOCOLATE-NOW!"

The girl's poor mum (she was poor because she had to spend all her money on colossal amounts of food for her daughter) would have to dash out to the corner shop to buy Sofia a bar of chocolate. However, by the time the woman returned home, Sofia would have seen another advert for something else she wanted to scoff and she'd send her mum straight back out the door again. "M-U-V-V-E-R! CAKE!" Watching and eating. Eating and watching. That is all Sofia did. Her eyes had actually become square from staring at the box all day. The only exercise Sofia took was changing channels on the television. But because she had a remote control this was nothing more than pressing a button with her finger. Still sometimes her finger would get tired and she would shout out to her mum, "M-U-V-V-E-R! CHANNEL THREE. NOW!" It will come as no surprise to you that one day Sofia's mum decided enough was enough.

"It's time you stopped watching television and got off your bottom for once, young lady!" commanded the woman. "Nah, Muvver," muttered Sofia, not looking up from the television. "I just gotta find out what happens at the end of this programme fingy." "What do you mean, Sofia? The end of the episode?" asked Mum. "Nah, the end of the series," replied Sofia Sofa. "There is no end! You are watching a soap opera! It will go on FOREVER! Come on, young lady! UP!" With that Mum put her hands under her daughter's armpits and attempted to hoist her upwards. "Three, two, one... HEAVE!" Eventually she managed it, but the sofa came with Sofia. The girl had been sitting there for so long she had become completely wedged in! In fact the two had somehow fused and it was impossible to tell where the girl ended and the piece of furniture began. Sofia had become...

...half girl, half sofa. Not that she was bothered. The girl just carried on staring at the television throughout the whole process. When Dad returned home from work, Mum enlisted his help. Together the pair of them tried to prise their daughter from the sofa.