5 My Per-plex Machine

CHAPTER 5 MY PER-PLEX MACHINE The first exercise is for abs. What's an ab? It says, "Lie down." That's easy. I can do that. Then it says, "Sit up." I just lay down and got comfortable, why would I sit up?

I move on to the next section. It says, "Biceps." Do I have to buy something else? There's a picture of an arm. Okay, it says, "Put your Wimpflex around a door handle and pull." It's a silly way to open the door, but I'll try it. While I'm pulling, Mom opens the door, and my rubber band snaps. I go flying across the room. Well, so much for biceps. Maybe I won't need 'em for field day.

The next exercise is for pecs, and the one after that is for thighs. I think this is a body- building system for chickens. I want my money back. I phone the number on the booklet. A man answers. I tell him that I'm not satisfied. He says that my Wimpflex is

guaranteed to give me muscles. Then he asks if I'm holding up the phone. HELLO. I say, "Yes." He says that if I'm holding the phone, I have muscles, and then I hear a click. I look at my $9.97 rubber band and start to feel sad. I just got conned! CLICK!