Chapter 4

Chapter 4 Princess Pulverizer walked silently toward the cottage door. She'd put on the ruby ring the Queen of Shmergermeister had given her. The ring had the power to allow whoever was wearing it to walk in silence. No one in the cottage could hear her. But the princess could sure hear them. They were arguing. Loudly. "You're eating that apple pie awfully quickly!" Princess Pulverizer heard a woman scold. "It took me hours to bake." "I'm just trying to finish it before I lose my appetite," a man replied angrily. "This pie is so dry, it's turning to dust. You are a terrible chef, Madame Zucker."

"How could anyone cook in such a tiny kitchen with rusty old pans?" Madame Zucker replied. "If you hate my cooking so much, why not let me go?" "I captured you and brought you here to cook for me," the man said. "And cook for me you shall." "You eat too much sugar, Sir Surly," Princess Pulverizer heard a second man's voice scold. "You are going to get a toothache. I've already had to pull half your teeth."

Hmmm... Sir Surly. There was a knight inside this cottage. Perhaps he could help Princess Pulverizer find her friends. The princess was about to knock on the door when she heard more arguing. "Dr. Cuspid, could you breathe in the other direction?" Sir Surly demanded. "You're stinking up the whole cottage. It's that onion you ate with your dinner."

"I like onions," Dr. Cuspid insisted. "And my breath wouldn't be so bad if you'd let me grab my toothbrush when you captured me." "From now on you are only to eat apples," Sir Surly ordered him. "Try this one." "I'm tired of apples," Dr. Cuspid complained. "An apple a day keeps the doctor away," Sir Surly reminded him. "But an onion a day keeps everyone away!" "The last time I heard that joke, I fell off my dinosaur," Madame Zucker replied snidely. "Speak to me with respect," Sir Surly warned her. "Or else we'll soon be eating Madame Zucker stew—with Madame Zucker as the main ingredient." Princess Pulverizer gasped. Yikes. This guy was really sensitive. She'd never met a knight like that in her father's court. "AAAAAHHHHH!" Princess Pulverizer was startled by the sudden loud shout from inside.

"NATE JAPE, GET THAT SPIDER AWAY FROM ME!" Sir Surly screamed. "You know I hate spiders." "What do you get when you mix a tarantula with a rose?" the princess heard a young boy ask. "What?" Madame Zucker wondered aloud. "I don't know," he said. "But I wouldn't try smelling it!" Nate laughed at his own joke.

But Sir Surly sure wasn't laughing. "I don't like spider jokes, either!" he grumbled. "Uh-oh," Dr. Cuspid interrupted. "What now?" Sir Surly demanded. "I found a worm in this apple," Dr. Cuspid complained.