Chapter 5

Chapter 5 Grrr... Princess Pulverizer was mad. Really mad. She couldn't believe she'd been stuck in the ogre's tower for a whole night. Her plan had been going so well. She'd gotten into the castle with no problems. She'd found the queen's jewels—and stolen them back. But here it was the next morning, and she was still stuck in the ogre's castle.

And it wasn't like anyone was going to be looking for her, or even missing her. No one— not even her own father—would be expecting her. Not for a long while. After all, performing eight good deeds took time. It would be weeks—maybe months—until the Knights of the Skround Table would be

sent to look for her. Not that she really needed help. Because there had to be a way for her to get out. And if anybody could figure out how to escape, it was Princess Pulverizer. The ogre was big. And strong. But he wasn't smart. And smart could always outsmart strong. That was why they called it outsmart. All the princess had to do was think her way out of this mess. Except it was really, really hard to think on an empty stomach! Boy, was she hungry. THUMP. THUMP. Suddenly, the whole castle began to shake. THUMP. THUMP. Princess Pulverizer gulped. It sounded like the ogre was walking up the stairs to the tower. What did he want now? Had he figured out that she'd stolen back the queen's jewels? Princess Pulverizer sure hoped not. Because there was no telling what that big stupid lunk would do if he got angry.

Sniff... sniff... ewwwww. As the ogre got closer, a terrible smell wafted up into the tower. It smelled like dirty feet and underarm sweat. Princess Pulverizer frowned. That giant monster didn't just need a haircut. He needed a bath, too. Click. A moment later, the ogre opened the door. He shoved a bowl and a spoon into the princess's hands. "FOOD," he bellowed. Then he turned and left the tower, locking the door behind him. The smell of dirty feet and underarm sweat filled the tower. And it didn't leave with the ogre. That was because it wasn't the ogre that smelled so bad. It was the gruel he'd served her for breakfast!

The only good thing about a breakfast like this was that the princess didn't have to figure out which spoon was the proper one to use when eating gruel. Because princesses did not eat gruel. Ever. Still, she was hungry. And this was food. Sort of. So she took a spoonful, swished it around in her mouth, and...

Spit the nasty stuff across the room. "THIS IS DISGUSTING!" she shouted. "I WANT EGGS, AND A ROLL, AND SOME COLD JUICE!" The princess waited for a moment, expecting the ogre to hurry back up with a new breakfast—perhaps on a tray this time. But Princess Pulverizer didn't hear any footsteps on the stairs. Hmmm... Maybe the ogre hadn't heard her. If he had, he surely would have returned with a better meal. "I AM A PRINCESS," she shouted, louder this time. "I DO NOT EAT SLOP! ARE YOU BRINGING ME MY BREAKFAST? ARE YOU OUT THERE? ANSWER ME!" "Do not worry, damsel in distress!" Surprisingly, the princess got an answer. Only it wasn't the answer to her question. And it wasn't coming from inside the castle. It was coming from outside.