Chapter 4

Chapter 4 "I am a happy princess wandering in the woods," Princess Pulverizer sang out as loudly as she could. "All alone, with no one to protect me..." The princess's voice cracked on that last note. She probably should have paid more attention to her music classes at the Royal School of Ladylike Manners. Princess Pulverizer stopped singing and waited for the ogre to come capture her. But the door to the castle didn't open. Still, she wasn't giving up. She was going to get captured by that ogre, no matter how much singing she had to do. Being captured meant she would be brought inside the ogre's castle. And once she was in there, she could

get her hands on the Queen of Shmergermeister's jewels. "I'm all alone," Princess Pulverizer sang, much louder this time. "Just picking flowers. With no one watching over me. And did I mention, I'm a princess?" She waited for a moment and stared at the door. It still didn't open.

What was wrong with this ogre? Didn't he know it was his job to capture princesses and drag them into his castle? "La la la la!" Princess Pulverizer sang, so loud and so out of tune that it sounded more like squawking than singing. Click. A lock opened. The door to the castle swung open. The ogre stomped out—with his dirty fingers shoved into his hairy ears. "NOISE BAD," he grunted. Princess Pulverizer scowled. "Come on. My singing's not that bad." "BAD!" the ogre grumbled. "VERY BAD." "Well, if my singing hurts your ears," Princess Pulverizer said angrily, "I'll just keep my mouth shut, then." "FINE," the ogre bellowed. He turned and started back into his castle. "Don't you want to capture me and hold me prisoner in your tower?" Princess Pulverizer asked him.

The ogre looked at her strangely. "NO SING?" he asked her. The princess shook her head. "No more singing." "OKAY," the ogre said. He took her by the arm and began dragging her inside. "I CAPTURE." Princess Pulverizer sighed. It was about time. "YOU PRISONER," the ogre said as he led Princess Pulverizer up the last and steepest staircase and into the giant tower. The princess could not believe her eyes. What a dump!

There were strange objects piled in a mound from floor to ceiling. Bent forks. Crusty spoons. Dulled metal knives. A broken hand mirror. Silk scarves. Copper teakettles. Frying pans. Broken teacups. Chipped dishes. "What is all this junk?" Princess Pulverizer asked. "TREASURES," the ogre barked at her. "MY TREASURES."

"Treasures?" the princess questioned. "This is just junk." "MY TREASURES," the ogre repeated. "YOU NO TOUCH." Princess Pulverizer looked at a large silver ladle that was covered in a crusty yellow film. No touch. No problem. But a few minutes later, after the ogre had shut the tower door and left, Princess Pulverizer realized she just might have to dig through the pile of junk, after all. The ogre had called this stuff treasures. So maybe the silverware, coins, pots, and pans were things he had stolen and wanted to keep for his own. If so, it was possible that there were some real treasures in that mess. Treasures from a jewelry box that was stolen from the Queen of Schmergermeister! Princess Pulverizer had no choice. She reached into the pile of disgustingness and