5 DOWN FOR THE COUNT

CHAPTER 5 DOWN FOR THE COUNT Fiddly-ho! Follow me, kids!" Joan the Safety Cone led Alexander's class on a parade through the park. Alexander noticed that everything in Safety Land was soft. The handrails were soft. The pretzels were soft. The sidewalks were soft. Soft music even played in the background.

At one point, Mr. Hoarsely sang along. "Here we are!" said Joan. "The world's safest haunted house!" The parade stopped at a cozy cottage. There were no spiderwebs, no gravestones, and no old boarded-up windows. "I'll lead the way!" yelled Mr. Hoarsely, adjusting his elbow pads.

The door opened without making a creak, and Alexander's class walked inside. The room was well-lit, with thick carpeting, padded walls, and clearly marked emergency exits. Alexander walked between Rip and Nikki. "Not exactly spooky, is it?" he said. "Look!" said Mr. Hoarsely, clapping. "Magic!" He pointed to a purple curtain covered with strange symbols.

"TA-DAAA!" An oddly dressed man stepped through the curtain. He wore a wizard's hat, a tuxedo, and a shiny purple cape. His left arm was in a huge sling. FLOMP! The curtain fell on the man's head. "Oops, sorry!" he said. "Cheap curtain!" He tossed the curtain aside. Alexander noticed a zigzag cut along one edge.

"Ahem," said the man. "I am the Wonderful, Mysterious, Amazing Count Chad!" He took a little bow. Half a deck of cards fell out of his sleeve. The students giggled. "No laughing!" snapped Count Chad. "I'm not a jokey magician—I'm a real magician!" He wiped his brow, but his handkerchief was tied to four more handkerchiefs. They all became twisted in his sling. "Now," Count Chad said, untangling himself, "watch me pull a rabbit from my hat!" "Oooh!" said Dottie, smiling. The magician reached into his hat and pulled out a half-eaten carrot. "Hmmmmm," he said. "Maybe later." "Oh," said Dottie, frowning.

"Instead, I WILL PREDICT THE FUTURE!" He wiggled his eyebrows as he pulled a crystal ball from his cape. The ball began to glow. Count Chad held the ball close to Alexander as he spoke. "I see a boy! A boy who has faced terrible, difficult, monstrous challenges!" Alexander looked into the ball. Cloudy shapes danced in the glass. "But this boy should beware..." continued Count Chad, of the dreadful, horrible, unspeakable COASTER GHOST!" FLASH! The image in the crystal ball came into focus. Everyone gasped. A skull face with bloodshot eyes stared back at Alexander.