7 READY AIM SPLAT!

CHAPTER 7 READY... AIM... SPLAT! Alexander spent the rest of the morning trying to convince Rip and Nikki that monsters were turning their school into a refrigerator. "And look!" Alexander said as they stepped into the cafeteria. "The monsters even changed the menu again!"

"Pie?!" Alexander said, raising an eyebrow. "Why would a school serve just pie?" Rip and Nikki looked at each other, and then over at the pie case. "Listen, Salamander," Rip began. "Surely the school is looking out for us." "Yeah," said Nikki, heading toward a tall wedge of raspberry pie. Alexander sighed. Once again, he carried his lunch box to an empty table to wait for his friends. He looked around. Everyone was chowing down on pie. He flipped open his lunch box.

Beneath his dad's note was a veggie pita. Alexander took a bite as Rip and Nikki plopped down their trays. "Watch me use my table manners," said Rip. He nibbled a bite of his blueberry pie. "Manners? Ha!" said Nikki. She attacked her pie. Her plate looked like a crime scene. "Here, Salamander," said Rip. "Try a bite!" He scooted his pie toward Alexander.

Alexander slammed his fist down. "NO!" he barked. "There's something wrong here! School lunches should be healthy! Pie and ice cream for lunch is just... weird!" He stood up and began shouting to the entire cafeteria, "I don't know why, but we shouldn't trust this pie! Am I right?" Pie-stained faces stared back at Alexander. Rip began waving his arms. "Sorry, Rip. You can't stop me!" Alexander said. He held Rip's pie above his head. "Even if no one believes me, I can't let you eat this pie! It's going in the garbage!" He spun around and threw the pie.

SPLOORCH! Right into Ms. Vanderpants's face. Silence fell over the lunchroom as clumps of blueberry rolled down the principal's coat. Everyone could hear what Ms. Vanderpants said next, even though she spoke in a whisper. "Alexander Bopp... see me after school." Ms. Vanderpants stormed out, her face purple with anger—or maybe smooshed blueberry.