4 RETURN TO SENDER

CHAPTER 4 RETURN TO SENDER WORMS! Alexander and Rip walked into their underground classroom, which used to be the hospital morgue. Now instead of being a place for storing dead bodies, it was a place for storing bored students. "If it isn't the Tardy Boys!" said a short man wearing three kinds of plaid.

"Morning, Mr. Plunkett," Alexander said to his teacher. He found a seat in the back, next to a girl in a hoodie. She was the only kid who had been nice to him on his first day of school. "Um, hi," Alexander said. She was busy reading a book and didn't seem to hear him. Alexander took out his monster notebook and flipped to the megaworm pages. How can I stop them? he thought. The hoodie girl turned her head a little. Is she peeking? worried Alexander. He quickly turned to a different page to hide the megaworm pages.

KOALA-WALLA- KANGA-WOMBA-DINGO Ears of a koala snout of a dingo Claws of a wombat Pouch of a Kangaroo Tail of a wallaby HABITAT These monsters are found beneath the bathroom sink. Or below the couch cushions. Any place that's down under.

FLOOSH! Toilets flush counterclockwise When K.W.K.W. D.s are nearby. DIET Boomerang-shaped food: bananas, croissants, squash, etc. BEHAVIOR Koala-walla-Kanga-womba- dingoes love to cuddle. WARNING! It's a trap. As soon as you touch a koala-walla-kanga-womba-dingo, a joey will pop out of her pouch and nip your nose. Anyone bitten by a joey instantly becomes Australian.

Alexander closed the notebook. Too bad we're not under attack by cuddly koala-kanga-whasits, he thought. I'd take those over megaworms any day. "Students," said Mr. Plunkett," today's lesson will be entirely about worms." The hoodie girl was opening her science book. Alexander jotted a note on a scrap of paper, folded it, and handed it to the hoodie girl. "Pass this to Rip," he whispered. She nodded and sent the note along. After a few passes back and forth, their conversation filled the page. We've got to stop these monster worms before the sun comes out! -Alexander THEY'RE PROBABLY NOT EVEN MONSTERS! -RIP What if I'm right, though? I need to make a loud screeching noise to make the worms shrivel up. I can do it-with Mr. Hoarselu's help. But I have to do it now! -Alexander

SO DO IT ALREADY! -RIP But how do I get out of class? -Alexander Just ask for a bathroom pass! -Nikki STAY OUT OF THIS. NIKKI! Salamander, just ask for a bathroom pass. -RIP Alexander sat upright. "Nikki?" he said aloud. The girl next to him tugged on her hoodie strings. "Excuse me, Alexander," said Mr. Plunkett. Everyone turned to look. "Do you have something to say?" "Um, I, yes-" Alexander glanced at Nikki and Rip. "I've got to go to the bathroom. It's an emergency!" Mr. Plunkett scratched his mustache. "Okay. Come get a hall pass. You've got five minutes!" Alexander took the hall pass and ran. He knew just what he had to do....