7 THE MORGUE THE MERRIER

CHAPTER 7 THE MORGUE THE MERRIER Alexander tugged open the big metal door and peeked into a cold, windowless room. The walls were lined with little square doors. Most of the doors were open, with long metal slabs sticking out like tables. Alexander's new classmates were using these slabs as desks. The class grew silent as Alexander stepped into the room.

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"WHO DARES ENTER THE FORBIDDEN CHAMBER?" boomed a loud voice. One of the square doors in the back of the room shuddered and then burst open. "AHHH!" Alexander screamed. A grinning man had popped out of the hatch. "Ha! Just kidding! Welcome! I'm Mr. Plunkett!" He wore a pink-and-orange flowery shirt, green pants, and purple shoes. Mr. Plunkett wrote ALEXANDER BOPP on the board. Then he plopped a pointy hat onto Alexander's head. "Why don't you introduce yourself?"

NEW KID Pointy cap Covered in dust Fake smile Normal shoe Froggy boot "Um, hi, I'm new and it's great to meet you and my dad is a dentist and we just moved to Stermont yesterday and, um—" Alexander said, way too fast. The classroom door swung open with a big jerk. Rip Bonkowski barged into the room.

RIP BONKOWSKI Spiky hair Square-ish head Fake tattoos Missing teeth Baby teeth? Or did he lose them in a fight? "Who's the weenie?" Rip asked, staring at Alexander. "Now, Rip," said Mr. Plunkett. "Is it a good idea to call someone a 'weenie'?" Mr. Plunkett turned to the class. "Remember what we talked about in our writing unit! You can call anyone a weenie— so boring!" He winked at Alexander. "If you're going to give someone a nickname, make it count!"

Alexander's mouth dropped open. "Let's see...." Mr. Plunkett studied Alexander. "Notice his silly frog boot. This guy clearly loves slimy green things!" He crossed out Alexander's name and wrote SALAMANDER SNOTT beneath it. "There!" he said. The class broke into laughter. Alexander tore off his hat. "Unbelievable!" he snapped. Everyone stopped laughing. "A lousy nickname already? This whole day has been a joke!" Alexander gritted his teeth. "I've been lost, yelled at, crushed by bricks and attacked by monsters!" He held his hands up like claws. "Huge, ugly, terrible, walking balloon goons!"