6 Everybody Is Running for the Office

CHAPTER SIX EVERYBODY IS RUNNING FOR THE OFFICE Franny stood up in front of the class. "As you know, I'm running for the office of president, and now I'd like to present Part Two of my campaign," she announced. She pulled the tarp off the big hulking clown-thing that Igor was holding on a leash.

"Elect me and this can be yours!" It was mostly a clown, but parts of its face looked like a kitten. It had soccer balls for eyes, and cake was leaking out of its ears. "Behold your future!" Franny yelled triumphantly, although nobody could hear her over the sound of the children's shrieks and the wet choking hacks of the clown- thing coughing up a puppy. Franny's classmates ran for the office, to get the principal.

Igor led the horrible creation out of the classroom, pausing only for a moment to eat some ear-cake. "Sorry, Miss Shelly," Franny said. "But I combined everything they like. I don't understand."

"Maybe you should try to think of the class as they see themselves: as individual people, and not just as a group," said Miss Shelly. "You have to know where each voter stands on the issues." Franny wiped some goo off the coughed-up puppy.

"So you're saying I have to be the exact candidate that every single one of them wants me to be? I don't think that's possible."

"Maybe not, Franny, but if you're going to get elected, it will be because each person sees you as the best person for him or her."