16 Against Gastronomical Odds

CHAPTER SIXTEEN AGANIST GASTRONOMICAL ODDS Franny started sticking her corn chips together with clumps of gum. The bubbles in the root beer were increasing the pressure in Igor's stomach. She checked her watch. They were running out of time.

"Okay, Igor, let's have one of your big, disgusting burps," she said. But Igor didn't burp. The pressure was building in his stomach, but he wouldn't burp. Franny remembered what she had told him. "Gadzooks," she said. "Igor is trying to follow my rule. He's keeping himself from burping." Franny started changing channels. "We'll see about that, Igor," she said. She found a music video with an irresistible beat. Igor started tapping his foot.

Franny popped the back off her remote and made a few little adjustments. Now she could control the volume of Igor's TV, and she made the music louder. Igor's shoulders started to move a little in time to the music. Franny turned up the music a little more. Igor's tail started to sway back and forth. Franny howled, "For the love of all humanity, shake what your mama gave you!"

Franny increased the volume as loud as it would go and Igor finally lost control. He bopped, grooved, and danced just like the people in the music video. His dancing was working on his stomach the way that shaking works on a bottle of root beer. "He can't hold this burp back forever," Franny said. As the pressure grew, Franny made the final adjustments to her corn chips, and stuck the Doomsday Device in place with

more gum. She began her countdown: "5-4-3-2-1..." Igor couldn't hold it back any longer. The pressure in his stomach was just too great, and he burped a huge, gassy dog burp.

"Blastoff!" Franny yelled. She had built a Windsurfer out of the corn chips and held it tightly as she rode the root-beer burp straight up Igor's throat. She rocketed right out of his mouth, moving much too fast to worry about his snaggly teeth, and skidded to a complete stop right in front of the Shrinkerizer. She fumbled with the wires in the remote. She was starting to panic. Only a minute remained until the bomb went off. "Calm down, Franny," she said to herself.