12 Ham, I Am

CHAPTER TWELVE HAM, I AM Finally Franny walked solemnly across the room and washed snips of ham and smears of mustard off her hands in the sink. She sighed a deep, satisfied sigh and turned to gaze on her creation.

There, standing motionless in the middle of the classroom, was a giant monster thing made entirely of glistening, delicious bologna, salami, pickle loaf, and ham.

The time had come to provide this creature with the awesome power source it would need to come alive. Franny grasped its salami nose and slid two batteries up its nostrils. "Awaken," she commanded. The creature's eyes slowly opened. It growled and looked at Franny. The kids clung to one another in fear. "The flagpole," Franny ordered, and the creature began walking stiffly toward the wall. With a mighty punch it smashed its way through and headed outside.

"Bread!" Franny yelled, and the kids, following Franny's plan, began pushing the pile of bread over to the base of the flagpole. The Lunch-Meat Creature grabbed the pole and shook it. Miss Shelly screamed, and the kids gasped. "Shake harder!" Franny commanded. The Lunch-Meat Creature shook and shook until finally the Pumpkin-Crab Monster dropped Miss Shelly.