5. The Monumental Mistake

5 The Monumental Mistake Stanley spent the rest of the day hiding in different museums. He visited the National Gallery of Art, where he hid from the police in three different paintings, including a Picasso. At the Smithsonian National Air and Space Museum, he was admiring the Apollo 11 space capsule, which had landed on the moon, when the men in black appeared again. Stanley gave them the slip by jumping into an astronaut suit whose visor was open. He found it to be very warm and slightly musty. In the Smithsonian National Museum of Natural History, Stanley saw the Hope Diamond, an enormous forty-five-and-one-half-carat jewel. I wish Calamity Jasper could see this, he thought, thinking of his and Arthur's treasure-hunting friend from Mount Rushmore. But night eventually fell.

斯坦利在那天剩下的时间里躲在不同的博物馆里。 他参观了国家美术馆，在那里他藏在三幅不同的画里，其中包括一幅毕加索的画。 在史密森尼国家航空航天博物馆(Smithsonian National Air and Space Museum)，他正在欣赏降落在月球上的阿波罗11号(Apollo 11)太空舱，这时黑衣人再次出现。 斯坦利跳上一件遮阳板打开的宇航服，把他们给甩掉了。 他觉得屋里很暖和，有点发霉。 在史密森国家自然历史博物馆，斯坦利看到了“希望之钻”，一颗重达45克拉半的巨大宝石。 我真希望灾难贾斯珀能看到这一点，他想，想着他和阿瑟在拉什莫尔山的那个寻宝朋友。 但夜幕终于降临了。

All the museums closed. And Stanley had nowhere to go. He saw the Lincoln Memorial shining brightly in the dark, like a lit house on a stormy night. It sat at one end of a large strip of grass called the National Mall. At the other end, exactly one mile away, was the dome of the US Capitol, where the members of Congress worked. And right in the middle, halfway between the Lincoln Memorial and the Capitol, was the tall white pillar of the Washington Monument. Stanley settled into Abraham Lincoln's enormous white stone lap and sighed deeply. The statue's wise eyes looked unblinkingly over him. "I've never run away before," Stanley admitted. "Everyone must be worried sick." Stanley smiled for a moment, thinking of how his mother would correct his grammar. "Stanley," she would have said, "you mean that everyone is sick with worry." "But if I go back," Stanley continued in a soft voice, "they'll make me out to be some kind of American hero. But I'm not one. I'm just a kid who got flattened by a falling bulletin board.

所有的博物馆都关门了。斯坦利无处可去。 他看见林肯纪念堂在黑暗中闪闪发光，就像暴风雨之夜灯火通明的房子。 它坐落在一大片草地的一端，叫做国家广场。 在另一端，正好一英里外，是美国国会大厦的圆顶，国会议员们在那里工作。 在正中间，在林肯纪念堂和国会大厦的中间，是华盛顿纪念碑高大的白色柱子。 斯坦利坐在亚伯拉罕·林肯巨大的白色石头膝上，深深地叹了口气。 雕像睿智的眼睛一眨不眨地看着他。 “我以前从来没有跑过。”斯坦利承认。 “每个人肯定都担心得要命。” 斯坦利笑了一会儿，想着妈妈会怎样纠正他的语法。 “斯坦利，”她会说，“你的意思是每个人都担心得要命。” “但如果我回去，”斯坦利用柔和的声音继续说，“他们会把我塑造成某种美国英雄。 但我不是。我只是个被落下的布告栏压扁的孩子。

Thomas Jefferson wrote the Declaration of Independence even though he knew he was going to get in big trouble with the king of England— that's a hero. Neil Armstrong walked on the moon —that's a hero. Heroes risk everything for what they believe in. They make tough choices, like you did, President Lincoln. I didn't choose to be flat. I don't stand for anything." Stanley looked up at Abraham Lincoln's large, impassive face. And all of a sudden, from a certain angle, the former president looked like the Japanese movie star Oda Nobu, with his big nose and square jaw and beard. Stanley's mind raced back to a moment on a Japanese bullet train, and he could hear Oda Nobu's voice in his mind. "Stanleysan," Oda Nobu had said, "your flatness is what makes you special. But you must remember this: Being flat is what you are. It is not who you are. Who you are is a very bright, very funny, very curious young boy. It is who you are, flat or round. Always remember that, Stanleysan. Flat or round."

托马斯·杰斐逊即使知道自己会惹上英国国王的大麻烦，他还是写了《独立宣言》——这是一个英雄。 尼尔·阿姆斯特朗在月球上行走——那是一个英雄。 英雄为了他们的信仰不惜一切代价。 他们会做出艰难的选择，就像你一样，林肯总统。 我没有选择做平的。 我没有任何主张。” 斯坦利抬头看着亚伯拉罕·林肯那张冷漠的大脸。 突然之间，从某个角度看，这位前总统看起来就像日本电影明星Oda Nobu，有着大鼻子、方下巴和胡子。 史丹利的思绪迅速回到了日本子弹头列车上的某个时刻，他能在脑海中听到织田信的声音。 “斯坦利，”Oda Nobu说，“你的平淡正是你与众不同的地方。 但你必须记住这一点:你是扁平的。 这不是你是谁。你是一个非常聪明，非常有趣，非常好奇的小男孩。 你是谁，是平是圆。 永远记住这一点，斯坦利。 不管是平的还是圆的。”

Somehow, the memory made Stanley feel a bit better. Maybe he wasn't a hero. But at least he was himself. Suddenly, a pair of shadows darted across the base of the statue. Before he knew it, he was surrounded by at least a dozen men in black.

不知怎么的，这段回忆让斯坦利感觉好了一点。 也许他不是英雄。但至少他还是他自己。 突然，两个影子掠过雕像的底部。 在他反应过来之前，他已经被至少十几个黑衣人包围了。

"Stanley Lambchop!" one of the men shouted. "Stop—" Stanley flipped up into the air. He sprang end over end down the grand steps, the men close behind him. There was a long rectangular pool in front of the Lincoln Memorial. In the darkness, Stanley could see the Washington Monument reflected in and rising above it. Picking up speed, he launched himself over the water and pushed out his stomach. Stanley skipped on the surface like a stone: one… two… three… four… five times. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see men in black racing alongside the edge of the pool, their ties flapping over their shoulders. With a final, powerful thrust of his belly against the water's surface, he soared out of the pool… and landed flat against the side of the Washington Monument.

“斯坦利·兰博切!”其中一个人喊道。 “停——”斯坦利跳了起来。 他一头跳到那宏伟的台阶上，人们紧跟在他后面。 林肯纪念堂前有一个长方形的长水池。 在黑暗中，斯坦利可以看到华盛顿纪念碑倒映在上面。 他加快速度，跃出水面，把肚子撑了出来。 斯坦利像一块石头一样在水面上跳来跳去:一、二、三、四、五次。 从眼角余光里，他看到一群黑衣男子在泳池边奔跑，他们的领带在肩上飘动。 最后，他的腹部有力地推了一下水面，他飞出了游泳池，平躺在华盛顿纪念碑的一侧。

Because he was damp from the reflecting pool, he stuck to it like a wet washcloth on the side of a bathtub. "Stanley!" one of the men in black called. "Stop!" "Why should I listen to a kidnapper like you?!" Stanley shouted back. Stanley looked toward the sky and began inching his way up the monument as fast as he could. Like an inchworm, he would unpeel his arms from the stone, re-stick them a few inches higher up, unpeel the rest of his body, and pull himself up. When Stanley finally looked down, his stomach lurched. He was more than five hundred feet high. He reached up again, and the stone tilted. He had

因为他被反射池弄湿了，他就像浴缸边上的湿毛巾一样粘在上面。 “斯坦利!”一个黑衣人喊道。 “住手!”“我为什么要听你这种绑匪的话?!”斯坦利喊道。 斯坦利望着天空，开始以最快的速度慢慢爬上纪念碑。 像尺蠖一样，他会把胳膊从石头上剥下来，重新贴在几英寸高的地方，把身体的其他部分剥下来，然后把自己拉起来。 当斯坦利终于向下看时，他的胃一阵痉挛。 他有五百多英尺高。 他再次伸手，石头倾斜了。 他有