3. Calamity Jasper

3 Calamity Jasper The tourists dispersed, but Stanley and Arthur hung back with the cowgirl. "What did you mean just then—about it not being an earthquake?" asked Stanley. Calamity spread her arms out to the mountain range around them. "Thar's gold in them thar hills," she said. "Everyone knows about the gold rush of the eighteen seventies… rumor is there's still more in those abandoned mines. I reckon someone's dynamiting to get to it." "Gold?" Arthur repeated. "Real gold in a real gold mine?" "Yep," Calamity answered. "I'm about to get me some myself. I found a map." Stanley and Arthur looked at each other. "Can we come, too?" they blurted out at the same time.

Calamity Jasper yanked her hat down and squinted at the boys. "Okeydoke," she decided at last. "I reckon you fellas could tag along. Might be needing some extra hands if I find a really big vein." The next morning, the Lambchop family awakened in their tent to the sound of birdsong and the scent of piney woods. Everyone was eager to begin the day, but Mrs. Lambchop insisted they wait for a good breakfast. "It's the most important meal of the day," she reminded her family. She was such a skillful cook that she made an excellent breakfast over the little campfire using only the tinned and dried provisions they had packed. The Lambchops ate with the hearty appetites brought on by outdoor living, and then they tidied the campsite. Just as the sleeping bags were being rolled up, a rustling at the tent flap caught their attention. Calamity Jasper strode inside. "Time for all the young'uns to report to powwow!" she announced to Mr. and Mrs. Lambchop. She winked at Stanley and Arthur.

"Did you hear that, George?" exclaimed Mrs. Lambchop. "What a wonderful tour… so much for the boys to do!" "Can we go?" asked Arthur and Stanley, excited. "It's 'may we go,' dears," Mrs. Lambchop corrected her sons. "We are not on a vacation from proper speech." Then she sent a questioning look to her husband. "Sounds like a fine plan to me!" Mr. Lambchop said. So the boys eagerly followed Calamity Jasper to her horse. "This here's Gold Rush, my trusty steed," she said, patting a beautiful palomino. "Arthur, you can ride up on the saddle behind me. And you, hmm…" She eyed Stanley. "I'll roll you like a blanket and tie you on behind, right here under the cantle. That all right with you, buckaroo?" "Oh, sure," Stanley said. "I am very limber." He showed her how he could bend and fold himself about, although normally he was much more modest about his abilities. "Me, too," Arthur chimed in. "I am very limber, too." And he did a couple of somersaults in front

of the cowgirl. "Also, I am very good at holding on," Stanley said. "Remember yesterday? How I held on to Lincoln's face?" Arthur stepped in front of his brother, holding out his lasso and his harmonica. "Also," he said, "I have a lot of authentic cowboy gear." "Time's a-wastin'," Calamity said, shaking her head at the boys. She rolled Stanley up, being careful to leave his head sticking out, and lashed him to the saddle. Then she stuck one boot into a stirrup and swung herself onto her horse. Last, she pulled Arthur up behind her. "Giddyap!" she called to Gold Rush, and they were off.

Trotting along the trail was very pleasant. The Lambchop boys, being from a big city, were delighted to be out in so much nature. To pass the time, Calamity taught them cowboy songs, about painful longings for home, about faithful horses, and about wide-open spaces. Things like that. The children were surprised to find that their voices were in perfect harmony, soaring and twining in the clear mountain air with astonishing beauty. Probably, in fact, no three people had ever sung cowboy songs that beautifully before. If a talent scout had happened to hear them that day, he would have signed them up to a record contract on the spot. But that's not what happened. What happened was they ran out of songs. After that, Calamity pointed out the plants and animals along the trail. They saw pine and spruce trees and many wildflowers. They saw prairie dogs, red squirrels, deer, and even a herd of bison in the distance. "Mountain lions are native here, too," Calamity said. "And look," said Stanley. "Mountain goats!" "They're not native, though," Calamity Jasper told the boys. "In nineteen twenty-four, Canada gave Custer State Park six goats. They escaped

their pen and began to live in the wild. There are about two hundred of them now." Calamity was an excellent guide, and the boys were interested in all the things she told them as they rode along. But after a while, what they were really interested in was getting to the gold mine. At last they did.