2. Bugged

Chapter 2 Bugged Marvin Redpost lived in a two-story gray house. There was a fence around the house. The fence was all white except for one red post next to the gate. Marvin tapped the red post as he walked through the gate. He stopped outside the front door. He tried kissing his elbow again. "What are you doing, Mar?" asked Jacob, coming home behind him. Jacob was Marvin's older brother. Marvin froze. "Uh …" he said. He looked at his bent arm. "I'm practicing karate." "Cool," said Jacob.

马文·雷德波斯特住在一栋灰色的两层楼房里。 房子周围有篱笆。 除了大门旁边的一根红柱子外，篱笆全是白色的。 马文穿过大门时轻拍了一下红柱子。 他在大门外停了下来。 他又试着亲吻自己的胳膊肘。 “你在干什么，太太?”雅各跟在他后面回家，问道。 雅各布是马文的哥哥。 马文愣住了。“呃……”他说。 他看着自己弯曲的手臂。 “我在练习空手道。”“酷，”雅各布说。

They walked inside together. Marvin admired his older brother. Jacob was cool. There was no way Jacob would ever try to kiss his elbow. Marvin also had a little sister named Linzy. Linzy was four. "I got a sticker," Linzy said. "Good," said Marvin. He set down his books on the kitchen counter. "You can't have it," said Linzy. "I don't want it," Marvin assured her. "I'm telling!" Linzy snapped. "What?" asked Marvin. "Mommy!" Linzy shouted. Their mother came into the kitchen. "Marvin said he didn't like my sticker!" said Linzy. "He said it was a stupid sticker!" "I never said that," said Marvin. "Linzy earned that sticker in gymnastics," Mrs. Redpost said proudly. "That's good, Linzy," said Marvin. "Watch," said Linzy.

他们一起走了进去。 马文钦佩他的哥哥。 雅各布很酷。雅各布根本不可能亲他的胳膊肘。 马文还有一个小妹妹叫林兹。 林兹四岁。“我有一张贴纸，”林兹说。 “很好。”马文说。他把书放在厨房柜台上。 “你不能拥有它，”林兹说。 “我不想要。”马文向她保证。 “我说!”Linzy厉声说。 “什么?”马文问。“妈妈!”Linzy喊道。 他们的母亲走进厨房。 “马文说他不喜欢我的贴纸!” “他说那是个愚蠢的贴纸!”“我可没那么说。”马文说。 “这个贴纸是林兹在体操比赛中赢得的，”雷德波斯特太太自豪地说。 “很好，琳兹，”马文说。 “看，”林兹说。

Marvin watched his sister do a somersault in the hall. "That's great, Linzy!" he told her. He meant it, too. Marvin couldn't do a somersault. He just thought girls were better at somersaults than boys. Just before going to bed, Marvin tried to kiss his elbow one more time. He'd been trying all evening. Between homework problems. Before and after he brushed his teeth. While feeding General Jackson. General Jackson was his pet lizard. The General lived in a glass cage next to Marvin's desk. "This is stupid," Marvin told General Jackson. "Even if I could kiss my elbow, nothing would happen." General Jackson stuck out his tongue. Marvin was wearing Ninja Turtle pajamas. He liked being a boy. He was glad he was a boy! Girls were stupid and weird. One thing for sure. He did not want to turn into a girl! At least not forever. Maybe it would be okay for a few minutes. Just to see what it was like.

马文看着妹妹在大厅里翻了个跟头。 “太好了，琳兹!”他告诉她。 他也是认真的。马文不会翻筋斗。 他只是认为女孩比男孩更擅长翻筋斗。 就在睡觉前，马文又试着吻了一下自己的手肘。 他整晚都在努力。 作业问题之间。 在他刷牙之前和之后。 喂杰克逊将军的时候。 杰克逊将军是他的宠物蜥蜴。 将军住在马文书桌旁边的一个玻璃笼子里。 “这太愚蠢了，”马文告诉杰克逊将军。 “即使我可以亲吻我的胳膊肘，也不会发生什么。” 杰克逊将军伸出了舌头。 马文穿着忍者神龟睡衣。 他喜欢做男孩。他很高兴自己是个男孩!女孩们又蠢又怪。 有一件事是肯定的。他不想变成一个女孩!至少不会永远。 也许几分钟就可以了。 只是想看看那是什么感觉。

But you can't turn into a girl just by kissing your elbow, he thought. That was stupid. Casey Happleton was stupid. Why would anyone want to turn into a girl if girls were always saying stupid things like that? He tried kissing his elbow again. It just bugged him that he couldn't do it. It was twelve o'clock. Midnight. Marvin lay asleep, all twisted and tangled in his sheets. He was hugging his pillow. A full moon shone through the window. He rolled over. Then he flopped back the other way. As he rolled and flopped around in his bed, he got more and more tangled in his sheets. Then, still hugging his pillow, he rolled right off the edge of the bed. But he never hit the floor. He was so tangled that the sheets held him up. "Huh-wha?" he said. He found himself hanging upside down. All wrapped up like a mummy. He tried to get back onto the bed. jmkfho. He pulled a sheet.

但是你不能仅仅靠亲吻你的胳膊肘就变成一个女孩，他想。 那是愚蠢的。凯西·哈普尔顿很蠢。 如果女孩总是说这样的蠢话，为什么还有人想变成女孩呢? 他又试着亲吻自己的胳膊肘。 他不能做这件事，这让他很烦恼。 这时是十二点钟。午夜。 马文躺在床上睡着了，浑身扭曲纠结在床单里。 他抱着枕头。 一轮满月透过窗户照进来。 他翻了个身。然后他又朝另一个方向扑通一声退回去。 他在床上滚来滚去，被床单缠得越来越紧。 然后，他仍然抱着枕头，从床边滚了下来。 但他从来没有摔倒过。 他的身体乱成一团，床单把他撑了起来。 “啊——什么?”他说。他发现自己倒挂着。 裹得像个木乃伊。 他试图回到床上。 他拉了一张床单。

Suddenly his elbow was jerked almost to his mouth. Then it bounced back. He tugged the sheet again. Again his elbow jerked to his mouth. He pulled, then kept on pulling, harder and harder. His elbow moved closer and closer. It felt like his arm was breaking. He stretched out his lips. It felt like his shoulder was about to pop out. He gave it one hard yank! The sheet pulled out from under the mattress. He fell to the floor.

突然，他的胳膊肘几乎被扯到了嘴边。 然后又反弹回来。他又拉了拉床单。 他的胳膊肘又拉到了嘴边。 他拉着，然后继续拉，越来越用力。 他的胳膊肘越来越近了。 感觉他的胳膊要断了。 他张开嘴唇。 感觉他的肩膀要跳出来了。 他猛地一拉!被单从床垫下拉了出来。 他倒在地板上。

But as his head hit the carpet, he kissed himself on the elbow.

但当他的头撞到地毯上时，他吻了自己的胳膊肘。