4. Life in the Big House

CHAPTER 4 LIFE IN THE BIG HOUSE Poor Mr. Krupp. He had been locked up at the Piqua State Penitentiary for months, and the life of a jailbird just wasn't his thing. All day long he had people bossing him around. He ate nutritionally deficient, horrible-tasting meals in a filthy cafeteria. He got harassed constantly by a bunch of meat-headed bullies, and he spent his days doing menial "busy work" in an overcrowded, poorly ventilated sweatshop.

第四章大房子里的生活可怜的克虏伯先生。 他在皮夸州立监狱被关了好几个月，监狱的生活并不适合他。 整天都有人对他呼来喝去。 他在肮脏的自助餐厅里吃着营养不足、味道糟糕的饭菜。 他经常受到一群恶霸的骚扰，他每天都在一个拥挤、通风不良的血汗工厂里做着卑微的“忙碌的工作”。

Mr. Krupp was told when to eat, when to read, and when to exercise. He even had to ask permission to go to the bathroom! He was constantly bombarded with pointless rules, ridiculous discipline, random searches, metal detectors, security cameras, and pharmaceuticals designed to make everyone compliant and docile. It was a lot like being a student at Jerome Horwitz Elementary School, except that the prison had better funding.

克虏伯被告知什么时候吃饭，什么时候读书，什么时候锻炼。 他甚至要得到允许才能上厕所！他不断受到毫无意义的规则、荒谬的纪律、随机搜查、金属探测器、安全摄像头和旨在让每个人都顺从和温顺的药物的轰炸。 这很像杰罗姆·霍维茨小学的学生，除了监狱有更好的资金。

Mr. Krupp grumbled angrily to himself as he stomped around the prison courtyard on a gloomy autumn afternoon. In the center of the courtyard, a giant green tarp shielded everyone's eyes from something large and tall that was being built in honor of the Piqua State Penitentiary's upcoming ten-year anniversary. Everyone assumed it was some kind of statue, but since nobody had seen this top-secret project (not even the warden), nobody was quite sure what it was.

在一个阴沉的秋日下午，克虏伯先生一边在监狱院子里踱来踱去，一边愤怒地自言自语。 在院子的中央，一块巨大的绿色篷布挡住了每个人的眼睛，挡住了一个又大又高的东西，那是为纪念皮夸州立监狱即将到来的十周年而建造的。 每个人都认为这是某种雕像，但由于没有人见过这个绝密项目（甚至典狱长也没有见过），没有人能确定这是什么。

"I'm sick of this place," Mr. Krupp muttered to himself. "Everybody's always telling me what to do! If ONE MORE PERSON gives me another order, I think I'm going to go CRAZY!" "Hey, you!" shouted a tiny inmate working behind the green tarp. "Gimme that hammer over there!" Mr. Krupp clenched his fists furiously. "YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" he screamed. "YOU'RE A PRISONER JUST LIKE I AM!" "I most certainly am nothing like you," said the tiny prisoner. It was Tippy Tinkletrousers, who was serving an eight-year sentence for attempting to take over the planet with intent to enslave humanity.

“我讨厌这个地方，”克虏伯先生自言自语道。 “每个人都对我指手画脚！”如果再多一个人给我下订单，我想我会发疯的！”“嘿，你！”一个在绿色防水布后面工作的小个子囚犯喊道。 “把那边的锤子给我！”克虏伯先生愤怒地握紧拳头。 “你不能告诉我该怎么做！”他尖叫道。 “你和我一样是囚犯！”“我一点也不像你，”小囚犯说。 他就是提比·丁克尔裤子，因为企图统治地球，意图奴役人类而被判8年徒刑。

Mr. Krupp rolled up his sweaty sleeves and stomped over to the pint-sized prisoner. He eyed Tippy up and down. Tippy eyed Mr. Krupp down and up. "Hey!" Mr. Krupp shouted. "You look kinda familiar!" "I agree!" said Tippy. "But I can't quite remember where I've seen you before!" The two men walked in slow circles around each other. "Well, whoever you are," Mr. Krupp said, "you've got no business bossing me around!" "I'll have you know," said Tippy, "that I'm MORE than just a regular prisoner! I'm an art-eest! I was handpicked to build a robo— er, I mean, a statue by Warden Schmorden."

克虏伯卷起汗流浃背的袖子，跺着脚走到这个瘦小的囚犯面前。 他上下打量着提比。 提比上下打量着克虏伯先生。 “嘿!”克虏伯先生喊道。“你看起来有点眼熟！”“我同意！”蒂皮说。 “可是我不太记得以前在什么地方见过你！”这两个人慢慢地绕着对方走着。 “好吧，不管你是谁，”克虏伯先生说，“你没有权利对我颐指气使！”“我要让你知道，”蒂皮说，“我不只是一个普通的囚犯！我是一个艺术家！我是被施莫登监狱长精心挑选来制作一个机器人——呃，我是说，一个雕像。”

Suddenly, a rotund little man peeped his bulbous, dandruff-speckled head out from behind the green tarp. "Did somebody just say my name?" he asked excitedly. It was Warden Gordon B. Schmorden, the guardian and chief jailer of Piqua State Penitentiary. Warden Schmorden was known far and wide for his cruelty and strictness. He once sentenced a prisoner to a year of solitary confinement just for ending a sentence with a preposition.

突然，一个矮胖的男人从绿色篷布后面探出他那布满头皮屑的球状脑袋。 “刚才有人叫我的名字吗？”他兴奋地问。 他就是皮夸州立监狱的看守兼首席狱卒戈登·施莫登（Gordon B. Schmorden）。 施莫登监狱长的残忍和严厉是远近闻名的。 他曾经判处一名囚犯单独监禁一年，仅仅因为他在句子末尾用了一个介词。