31. The Terrible, Sad, Incredibly HorrifyingEnding

CHAPTER 31 THE TERRIBLE, SAD, INCREDIBLY HORRIFYING ENDING Suddenly, out of nowhere, a ball of blue lightning appeared in front of them. It grew bigger and bigger until it exploded in a blinding flash.

And there, where the ball of lightning had been, stood a giant pair of robotic pants.

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"Boy, that was a close one," said Tippy from inside the depths of his giant Robo-Pants. "Captain Underpants is a lot stronger than I thought!" Tippy unzipped the zipper of his time- traveling trousers and looked out at the world of five years ago. He saw the raging thunderstorm and the four sixth graders who stood trembling beneath his giant, robotic feet. "Hey," shouted Tippy. "What's wrong with you kids? You look like you've just seen a ghost!" "IT'S—IT'S—IT'S THE H-H-HAUNTED P-P-P-PANTS OF W-W-WEDGIE M-M-M- MAGEE!" screamed Finkstein, pointing up at Tippy's gigantic, darkened silhouette. Kipper and his buddies screamed so loud and so high, only dogs could hear them.

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What happened next is what psychologists commonly refer to as "Going Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs." The four sixth graders fell to their knees, shaking, twitching, and uttering complete nonsense as their fragile, eggshell minds began to shatter. "B-B-Bubba bobba hob-hobba-hobba wah- wah!" cried Kipper, as he frantically slapped himself in the face again and again. Bugg tore off his clothes and began dancing the hula while singing "I'm a Little Teapot" as loudly as he could. Loogie started digging a hole in the ground with his teeth, gobbling up enormous fistfuls of dirt and worms. And poor Finkstein just laughed maniacally, happily banging his head into the grass over and over and over and over and over.