2. Those Wacky Grown-Ups

CHAPTER 2 THOSE WACKY GROWN-UPS It's been said that adults spend the first two years of their children's lives trying to make them walk and talk...

第2章古怪的大人据说大人在孩子出生后的头两年都在努力让他们学会走路和说话……

...and the next sixteen years trying to get them to sit down and shut up.

…在接下来的16年里，我试图让他们坐下来闭嘴。

It's the same way with potty training: Most adults spend the first few years of a child's life cheerfully discussing pee and poopies, and how important it is to learn to put your pee-pee and poo-poo in the potty like big people do. But once children have mastered the art of toilet training, they are immediately forbidden to ever talk about poop, pee, toilets, and other bathroom-related subjects again. Such things are suddenly considered rude and vulgar, and are no longer rewarded with praise and cookies and juice boxes.

如厕训练也是如此：大多数成年人在孩子出生后的头几年都在兴致冲冲地讨论尿尿和便便，以及学会像大人一样把尿尿和便便放进便盆里是多么重要。 但是一旦孩子们掌握了上厕所的技巧，他们就会被立即禁止再谈论便便、小便、厕所和其他与厕所有关的话题。 这样的事情突然被认为是粗鲁和粗俗的，不再得到表扬、饼干和果汁盒的奖励。

One day you're a superstar because you pooped in the toilet like a big boy, and the next day you're sitting in the principal's office because you said the word "poopy" in American History class (which, if you ask me, is the perfect place to say that word).

今天你是超级明星，因为你像个大男孩一样在厕所里拉屎，第二天你坐在校长办公室里，因为你在美国历史课上说了“便便”这个词（如果你问我，这是说这个词的最佳场所）。

You're probably wondering, "Why would adults do that? Why would they encourage something one day and discourage it the next?" The only answer I can think of is that adults are totally bonkers and should probably be avoided at all times. Perhaps you'll be lucky and find a small handful of grown-ups whom you can trust, but I'm sure we can all agree that you really have to keep an eye on most adults, most of the time.

你可能会想，“为什么成年人会这样做？” 为什么他们今天鼓励某事，明天又阻止它呢？”我能想到的唯一答案是，成年人完全是疯子，可能应该避免在任何时候。 也许你会幸运地找到一小部分你可以信任的成年人，但我相信我们都同意，大多数时候，你真的必须关注大多数成年人。

Which is just what George and Harold did.

乔治和哈罗德就是这么做的。