25. How to Reverse the Effects of a Combine-0-Tron 2000 in One Easy Step

CHAPTER 25 HOW TO REVERSE THE EFFECTS OF A COMBINE-O-TRON 2000 IN ONE EASY STEP The Bionic Booger Boy was defeated. He flopped, unconscious, into a giant boogery blob that spread across several city blocks (and nearly four whole pages) as reporters surrounded his massive, oozing body.

Soon, Melvin's mother and father showed up with the Combine-O-Tron 2000. "We saw what was happening on the news," they said. "And we want the world to know that we're going to create a new machine that will reverse the process that turned our son into this monster. If we work together, it should only take a few months to build!" "Why don't you guys just take the batteries out of that Combine-O-Thingu and switch 'em around?" said George. "Wouldn't that reverse the machine's effects?"

"Well," laughed Melvin's father, "obviously you don't know anything about science, little boy. You can't expect to reverse the effects of a highly complex cellular-moleculizing Combine-O-Tron just by switching the batteries around. That type of thing only happens in obnoxious children's books." "Ahem," said George self-consciously. "Well... why don't you just give it a try anyway?"

"Alright," said Mr. Sneedly, rolling his eyes and smirking. He quickly switched the batteries around and powered up the machine. "But I'm only doing this to prove a point to you kids: It's not gonna work. No way. Not in a million years. And anybody who thinks it might is a complete idiot. It goes against all the popular laws of logic and science." He aimed the newly reconfigured Combine-O-Tron 2000 at his son and fired.