2. Squishies, Part l

CHAPTER 2 SQUISHIES, PART 1 It was Demonstration Speech Day in Ms. Ribble's fourth-grade English class. Every student had to give an oral report demonstrating how to do something. First up were Tim Bronski and Stevie Loopner, who demonstrated how to give a speech that they hadn't prepared for. They got a D-.

Next up were Jessica Gordon and Stephanie Wycoff, who demonstrated how to cook frozen lasagna in a pop-up toaster. After the firemen left, it was George and Harold's turn. Harold carefully tacked some charts and graphs onto the wall while George brought out a large garbage can with a toilet seat taped to the top.

"Ladies and gentlemen," said George. "Today Harold and I are going to demonstrate how to do a Squishy. First, you need two packets of ketchup and a toilet seat." "Next," said Harold as he pointed to their display chart, "you must fold the ketchup packets in half and carefully place them under the toilet seat. Make sure that the packets are under those front two bumpy thingies on the bottom of the seat."

"Now, once the ketchup packets are in place," said Harold, "all you have to do is wait for somebody to sit down on the toilet seat. Do we have any volunteers?" "C'mon," said George, "who wants a Squishy?"

Although nobody in the class wanted to sit on the toilet seat, everybody wanted to see what would happen if somebody actually DID. So George grasped one side of the toilet seat, Harold grasped the other, and together they pushed down. SPLAT!!! SPLAT!!!

Everyone in the class was thrilled (except for the two kids sitting directly in front of the toilet seat, who were somewhat less-than-thrilled). "Hooray for Squishies!" the children shouted. Now, normally George and Harold's teacher, Ms. Ribble, would have been very angry about this particular demonstration speech.