9. The Gerbil Jogger 2000

CHAPTER 9 THE GERBIL JOGGER 2000 The next morning, Professor Poopypants came to school with an odd-looking miniature robot. "Look, children," he said. "I've created a new Invention using the principles of science! I call it the Gerbil Jogger 2000."

The children stopped laughing for a moment and looked with interest at Professor Poopypants's new invention. "You see, children," said the professor, "some people like to jog, and their pets like to jog along beside them. That's fine if you have a dog or a cat, but what if you have a pet gerbil? It used to be a big problem, but not anymore!" Professor Poopypants opened the glass dome on the Gerbil Jogger 2000 and inserted a cute, fuzzy gerbil.

The gerbil pushed his tiny legs against the simple controls, and suddenly the machine came to life. In no time at all, the gerbil was jogging around the classroom in his robot suit. The children were delighted! "Wow!" said Connor Mancini. "Science is COOL!" All of the other children agreed. This is wonderful! thought Professor Poopypants. I've REACHED them! Now I can TEACH them! "Um, excuse me," said George to the professor. "What's your middle name?" "My middle name," said the professor proudly, "is Pee-Pee. Why do you ask?"

At that point, the children picked up where they had left off: laughing at Professor Pippy Pee-Pee Poopypants's ridiculous name. The professor began to shake with anger. Tiny veins in his forehead started growing, and his face turned bright red. "I can't take much more of this," the furious professor said through clenched teeth. "I think I might blow a fuse if just one more thing happens!"