8. The Sweetness and Innocence of Children

CHAPTER 8 THE SWEETNESS AND INNOCENCE OF CHILDREN "Hello, boys and girls," said the professor a week later. "I'm going to be your new science teacher. My name is...

...Professor Pippy P. Poopypants."

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"Alright, settle down, boys and girls. Yes, yes, it's a funny name, I know, but let me explain how I got this name. Please, children, settle down. It's not that funny, let me assure you. Um... boys and girls... BOYS AND GIRLS! Please stop laughing! Alright, I'm going to count to ten, and when I'm done, I want all of you to quiet down so we can learn about the wonderful world of science. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven... eight... nine...

...nine and a half... ummm. Children, PLEASE STOP LAUGHING! I know you're all very far behind in your lessons, and we've got a lot of catching up to do. Boys and girls! STOP IT! I'm not going to tell you again! IT'S NOT FUNNY! There's no reason at all for you to be laughing at my name! I'm sure we all have funny names if you think about it. STOP IT RIGHT NOW! OK, boys and girls, I'll just wait until you all settle down. I can wait...."

A week later, things hadn't gotten any better. Professor Poopypants was really beginning to get angry. "How am I going to get through to these children?" he asked himself. "Hey! I've got it! I'll create a wonderful new invention!"