7. Here, Oh Here

CHAPTER 7 HERE, OH HERE Remember that Poopypants guy I was telling you about back in chapter 2? Well, things hadn't been going too well for him in the past several weeks. Professor Poopypants had come to America to share the Shrinky-Pig 2000 and the Goosy-Grow 4000 with the world. But nobody seemed to want to hear about his inventions. They were all too busy...

...laughing at his silly name. Poor Pippy Poopypants had been laughed out of every major scientific institution in the U.S. He'd been giggled out of Georgetown, howled out of Harvard, yuk-yukked out of Yale, snickered out of Stanford, and chuckled out of Chattanooga State Technical Community College.

Professor Poopypants was running out of money, and there was no place left for him to turn. Then, one day, the professor walked into a New York coffee shop and picked up a newspaper. And like a message from heaven, Pippy P. Poopypants found his answer. "THAT'S IT!" he cried. "I'll become an elementary school science teacher!"

"I'll work really hard, and soon, people will come to respect me and see what a genius I am. Then I can introduce my great inventions to the world!" Pippy Poopypants was certain that the one place people wouldn't laugh at his name was at an elementary school. "Kids are so accepting and loving," he said. "You can always count on the sweetness and innocence of children!"