2. All Hail New Swissland

CHAPTER 2 ALL HAIL NEW SWISSLAND As everybody knows, New Swissland is a small country just southeast of Greenland. You probably know all about New Swissland's natural resources and systems of government. But here's something about New Swissland that I'll bet you didn't know: Everybody in New Swissland has a silly name. Just ask their president, the Honorable Chuckles Jingleberry McMonkeyburger Jr. or his lovely wife, Stinky.

大家都知道，新瑞士是格陵兰岛东南方向的一个小国。 你可能对新瑞士的自然资源和政府体制了如指掌。 但关于新瑞士，我敢打赌你不知道：每个新瑞士人都有一个愚蠢的名字。 只要问问他们的主席，尊敬的小麦克猴子汉堡先生就知道了。 或者他可爱的妻子臭臭

They'll tell you all about New Swissland's proud "silly name" heritage. They'll tell you about the cultural significance of silly names. And then they'll probably tell you a really, really long, boring story of how this stupid tradition got started. We'll skip that part, OK? Just remember that everybody in New Swissland has a silly name. From the richest to the poorest, from the dumbest to the smartest.

他们会告诉你所有关于新瑞士骄傲的“傻名字”传统。 他们会告诉你傻名字的文化意义。 然后他们可能会告诉你一个非常非常长，非常无聊的故事，关于这个愚蠢的传统是如何开始的。 我们跳过这部分，好吗？记住，每个新瑞士人的名字都很傻。 从最富有的到最贫穷的，从最愚蠢的到最聪明的。

And speaking of the smartest, let me introduce you to Professor Pippy P. Poopypants. That's a statue of him down there in the bottom right-hand corner of the page. Now, Pippy P. Poopypants was probably the smartest person in all of New Swissland. He graduated at the head of his class at Chunky Q. Boogernose University, and afterward spent all of his time creating wild and fantastic inventions. Let's look in on him, shall we?

说到最聪明的，让我给你们介绍皮皮·P教授。 Poopypants。这一页的右下角有他的雕像。 皮皮·p·便便裤可能是整个新瑞士最聪明的人。 他以全班第一的成绩毕业于Chunky Q。 后来，他把所有的时间都花在了创造疯狂而奇妙的发明上。 我们去看看他，好吗？

Back in his private laboratory, Professor Pippy P. Poopypants was just putting the finishing touches on two wonderful new inventions: the Shrinky- Pig 2000, and the Goosy-Grow 4000. Professor Poopypants called for his assistant, Porkbelly Funkyskunk. "Mr. Funkyskunk," Pippy yelled, "I am now ready to test my new inventions!" Porkbelly took notes while the professor aimed his Shrinky-Pig 2000 eat a hideous pile of trash.

回到他的私人实验室，皮皮教授。 Poopypants刚刚完成了两项精彩的新发明：缩水猪2000和鹅生长4000。 便便教授叫来了他的助手，猪肚臭鼬。 “放克斯臭克先生，”皮皮喊道，“我现在准备测试我的新发明了！”当教授让他的缩水猪2000吃掉一堆可怕的垃圾时，大肚腩在做笔记。

BLLLLLLZZZZRRRRK! A powerful beam of energy blasted the garbage heap. Suddenly, the large pile of trash shrank to the size of a gumball. "Hooray! It works!" cried Professor Poopypants. "Now I must try the Goosy- Grow 4000."

BLLLLLLZZZZRRRRK !一束强大的能量轰击了垃圾堆。 突然，那一大堆垃圾缩小成了口香糖大小。 “万岁!便便裤教授叫道。 “现在我必须试试鹅-生长4000。”

Pippy and Porkbelly aimed the Goosy-Grow 4000 at an ordinary hot dog with mustard. GGGGLLUUZZZZZZZZRRRRRT! went another bright beam of energy.

皮皮和猪肚把鹅生长4000瞄准了一个加了芥末的普通热狗。 GGGGLLUUZZZZZZZZRRRRRT !又一束明亮的能量涌了出来。