15. The Name Change-0-Chart 2000

CHAPTER 15 THE NAME CHANGE-O-CHART 2000 Professor Poopypants spent several minutes jotting down a complex code on the three giant billboards. George and Harold, along with nearly a thousand of their fellow shrunken students, watched the mad professor from the terrifying clutch of his giant robotic hand.

"What is that crazy guy up to?" asked Mr. Krupp from his office window. "I'LL TELL YOU," shouted Pippy Poopypants. "Everybody on the planet must now change their normal names into silly names using these three charts! Anyone who refuses will get SHRUNK!" "How do the charts work?" asked Mr. Krupp. "It's easy," said Professor Poopypants. "What's your first name?"

"Er... I'm not telling," said Mr. Krupp. "WHAT IS YOUR FIRST NAME?!!?" shouted Professor Poopypants. "Alright, alright," said Mr. Krupp. "It's, uh... Benny." All of the children giggled. "So the first letter of your first name is B," said Pippy. "Now look at the first chart and find the letter B."

Mr. Krupp looked at the chart. "It says, 'B= Lumpy,'" he whined. "Good!" said Professor Poopypants. "Your NEW first name is 'LUMPY!"' All of the children laughed. "Lumpy Krupp?!!?" moaned Mr. Krupp. "I don't want to be called 'Lumpy Krupp."'

"You won't!" laughed Professor Poopypants. "Because you have to change your last name, too!" "Uh-oh," said Mr. Krupp. "Your last name is 'Krupp,"' said the professor, "which starts with a K and ends with a P. Now find the letter K on the second chart, and the letter P on the third chart."

Mr. Krupp looked at the two charts. "It says, 'K= Potty' and 'P= biscuits.'" "Wonderful!" shouted the professor. "Your new last name is 'Pottybiscuits."' "Oh, no!" groaned the principal. "My new name is 'Lumpy Pottybiscuits!"' The children all howled with laughter.