2. The GOP Guarantee

CHAPTER 2 THE GOP GUARANTEE Some restrictions may apply, Void where prohibited. If you read our last adventure, you're probably well aware of how George and Harold accidentally created duplicate versions of themselves. You know all the whys, the whens, and the wherefores, so you're all caught up and ready to go. Congratulations! Good for you. Reading is power, ain't it? If you didn't read our last adventure, you're probably scratching your head and saying to yourself, "Hey, myself, what the heck is going on here?"

Before we get into all of that, I should point out that it's impolite to use the word heck. These books have been criticized for their inappropriate language, and we're going to put a stop to that sort of thing once and for all. From now on, you won't be reading any more words like heck, or tinkle, or fart, or pee-pee. No, sir! Those words are highly offensive to grouchy old people who have way too much time on their hands. Except on pages 44 and 48.

In the interest of pleasing all the grouchy old people (GOP) out there, I have also included topics especially for them. So this adventure will contain references to health care, gardening, Bob Evans Restaurants, hard candies, FOX News, and gentle-yet-effective laxatives. So sit back (on your hemorrhoid pillows), turn up some music (Lawrence Welk), and grab a snack (black jelly beans that are all stuck together). It's time to enjoy the all-new, squeaky-clean, fully appropriate, and NON- offensive adventures of Captain Underpants!