11. ASLS

CHAPTER 11 ASLS (ATTENTION SUPERFLUOUS LETHARGY SYNDROME) You've probably all heard of ADHD. It's a condition known as Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. George and Harold had been diagnosed with it when they were in the second grade. At the time, George's dad had explained to the boys that people with ADHD are usually more creative than ordinary people. This made George and Harold feel very special, and they wore their diagnosis like a badge of honor.

But today, as they walked down the hallway to their next class, the boys felt much different than normal. It was almost as if their ADHD had been dramatically reversed somehow. They felt focused and attentive. They were calm and orderly. They did not feel the uncontrollable urge to daydream or misbehave. Something had changed about them. "YOU'RE LATE FOR CLASS!" shouted their math teacher, Anita Calculator. "We are very sorry," said Yesterday Harold robotically. "Just for that, I'm going to give you EXTRA homework!" Miss Calculator snarled. "Thank you. dear teacher," said Yesterday George in an enthusiastic monotone. "That would be lovely!"

Miss Calculator eyed the two boys suspiciously as they found their way to their desks and sat down quietly. All through class, as she droned on and on, she observed the most peculiar thing she had ever seen. Yesterday George and Yesterday Harold were actually sitting still and paying attention. They weren't fidgeting, they weren't giggling, and they weren't drawing or talking or making irritating noises with their armpits. They had become model students. "I don't know what you two boys are up to," said Miss Calculator at the end of class, "but I LIKE it!"

"Thank YOU." said Yesterday George. "Our greatest desire is to please you." "That is right." said Yesterday Harold. "And thank you For all the extra homework. too. We will do our very best!" Even Melvin Sneedly was impressed. "Those guys are cooler than I thought," said Melvin.

All through the day, Yesterday George and Yesterday Harold were making quite an impression on the faculty of Jerome Horwitz Elementary School. The teachers couldn't believe it when the two boys walked right past a bulletin board without changing the letters around. "They could have easily rearranged those letters to read: Our Cafeteria Makes You barf," said Ms. Guided. "But they didn't!" "I don't know what's going on with those two kids," said Miss Labler, "but I LIKE it!"

At the end of the school day, Yesterday George and Yesterday Harold went around to each classroom, asking if they could do extra- credit homework that evening. The teachers gladly piled it on. "I don't know what you did to those two brats today," said Mr. Krupp, "but I LIKE it!" "This is only the beginning," Mr. Meaner sneered. "Today I changed George and Harold. Soon, I shall change the world!"