4. He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Flushed

CHAPTER 4 HE-WHO-MUST-NOT- BE-FLUSHED The Turbo Toilet 2000 entered Earth's atmosphere in a blazing fireball from the sky. His rocket scooter roared over the rooftops of the small Ohio town as the porcelain predator bellowed out an eardrum-crushing taunt, "HEEEEEEEEERE'S JOHNNY!"

Then came the destruction. Buildings collapsed. City buses were thrown through skyscraper windows. Fires raged out of control. The chaos and devastation crippled the town, sent residents running for their lives... and annoyed the heck out of one little boy.

Melvin Sneedly had been trying to get some work done in his bedroom laboratory when the attack began. All he needed was one or two more hours of uninterrupted silence to complete his experiment, but the terrible ruckus outside was really getting on his nerves. Melvin marched over to his bedroom window, poked his head out, and shouted, "HEY! I'm trying to WORK, you idioti BE QUIET!!!"

As you can probably imagine, the Turbo Toilet 2000 didn't take too kindly to being dressed down in such a manner. He swiveled his massive bowl around quickly and glared at Melvin with raging, hard-boiled eyeballs. "Uh-oh," Melvin gulped. Suddenly, the Turbo Toilet 2000 leaped at Melvin. The tiny tattletale screamed as the malevolent miscreant chased him down the street, across the city, and into the empty, darkened hallways of Jerome Horwitz Elementary School.

Melvin ran upstairs and hid under Mr. Krupp's desk while the Turbo Toilet 2000 searched through the classrooms for him. Melvin was in deep trouble. Finally, he actually needed Captain Underpants's help, but the Waistband Warrior was nowhere to be found. "Rats!" said Melvin. "If only I could— OUCH!" Melvin's knee was pressing down into something sharp. Carefully, Melvin reached down and pulled the pointy little object out of his knee. It was a toenail. Not just any toenail, either. It was one of Mr. Krupp's thick, greasy, yellow toenails that he had clipped off the day before he had been whisked away on his journey back through time.

"Ewwww! What a slob!" said Melvin, as he flicked the toenail away. Then Melvin thought of something. He knew that Mr. Krupp was also Captain Underpants. That meant that Mr. Krupp's DNA must have some kind of super-powered element in its makeup. If Melvin could find a way to extract the super-powered element from Mr. Krupp's DNA, Melvin could, theoretically, transfer those super powers to himself! "Where's that toenail?" cried Melvin.