16. What Really Caused the Ice Age

CHAPTER 16 WHAT REALLY CAUSED THE ICE AGE "Is— is that—is that all you—you g-g-g—" moaned Tippy, as he fell to his battered, smoldering knees. Tippy's giant robotic pants might have been a technological marvel, but they were no match for caveperson cleverness.

Tippy was in trouble, but he still had one last trick up his sleeve. He reached down to his control panel and pressed the Freezy-Beam 4000's button. Suddenly, the battered top of the Robo-Pants opened up, and the Freezy-Beam 4000 rose menacingly from the robotic innards. Instantly, a massive burst of ice blasted at the cavepeople. Fortunately, they all got out of the way just in time, but the ice kept blasting anyway.

"What's wrong with this thing?" said Tippy, as he pressed the Freezy-Beam 4000's "off" button repeatedly. The button was stuck, so Tippy pulled the Emergency Shut-Off Lever. That wouldn't budge either. "It's almost as if someone has just tampered with my control panel!" said Tippy, unaware that tiptoeing across the floor at that very moment was someone who had just tampered with his control panel. Slightly Younger Tiny Tippy, still angry that he had been betrayed by his treacherous twin, had rigged the Freezy-Beam 4000 so that it could never be turned off. Now the ice beam was going berserk.

Glaciers of synthetic ice, programmed to last for seventy thousand years, cascaded from Tippy's Freezy-Beam 4000, encasing the trees and securing his robotic feet to the frozen ground. Things were getting out of control. Tippy quickly crawled under his command center, desperately trying to figure out a way to turn off the spewing icebergs. This was Slightly Younger Tiny Tippy's chance. He reached out with his Robo-Gloves and grabbed the Goosy-Grow 4000. Then, with a mighty leap, he jumped to the opening at the top of the robotic legs and hopped down to the frosty ground below.

The ice was spreading at a dangerous rate. Slightly Younger Tiny Tippy needed to act fast. With no time to spare, he grabbed a piece of bubble gum from his pocket, chewed it up, read the comic on the wrapper, then jammed the sticky bubble gum into the button of the Goosy-Grow 4000. "Now," said Slightly Younger Tiny Tippy, "when I press this button down, it'll STICK!"— which is exactly what happened. GGGGLLUUZZZZZZZZRRRRRT!

A continuous beam of growth energy burst forth from the goose-shaped contraption. Quickly, Slightly Younger Tiny Tippy jumped into the energy beam and grew to an impressive thirty feet tall. "AWESOME!" cried Slightly Younger Tiny Tippy, as he jumped in front of the beam again and again, like a child leaping through a lawn sprinkler. Each time he hit the beam of energy, he grew another thirty feet.