02-I KNOW A SONG

I KNOW A SONG... As soon as she saw me, Pinky grinned. Then she began to sing in a high-pitched squeak. "I KNOW A SONG THAT DRIVES MICE WILD, BUT I DON'T CARE 'CAUSE IT MAKES ME SMILE! YEAH, YEAH, YEAH..." Her squeak got louder and louder. It sounded like CAT claws on a chalkboard. I shot her a murderous look. But she just kept on squeaking. One thing you should know about Pinky, she loves to get under my fur.

"I KNOW A SONG THAT DRIVES MICE WILD, BUT I DON'T CARE 'CAUSE IT MAKES ME SMILE! YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH... I KNOW A SONG THAT DRIVES MICE WILD, BUT I DON'T CARE 'CAUSE IT MAKES ME SMILE! YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH..." Pinky's screech filled the subway car. By now, every rodent was staring at us. Well, they were doing more than just staring. They were GLARING! I gulped. The crowd was getting ugly. Some gnashed their teeth. Others stamped their paws. They looked like they wanted to put a muzzle on little Pinky. "PUT A LID ON IT!" one mouse demanded.

"Stuff a sock in it!" another added. Just then, a lady mouse wagged a paw in my face. "What kind of a father are you?" she scolded. "Tell your daughter to stop that AWFUL SQUEAKING!" I chewed my whiskers. "But, um, see, she isn't my daughter," I tried to explain. Suddenly, Pinky broke into a crazy dance number. She whirled and twirled around me. Her ear-piercing squeak was enough to make a grown mouse cry. "What do you think, Daddy dearest, Popsy Wopsy," she SHRIEKED. "Do I sound like one of the Three Squeaks?" Pinky loved the Three Squeaks. They were the hottest female mouse band on Mouse Island.

"I KNOW A SONG THAT DRIVES MICE WILD, BUT I DON'T CARE 'CAUSE IT MAKES ME SMILE! YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH... I KNOW A SONG THAT DRIVES MICE WILD, BUT I DON'T CARE 'CAUSE IT MAKES ME SMILE! YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH..."

The lady mouse shot me a dirty look. "Popsy Wopsy," I heard her mutter. Pinky winked at me. She kept singing at the top of her lungs. I closed my eyes. I pictured myself firing Pinky. STILTON FIRES SINGING MOUSE! the headline would read. No, I couldn't do it. You can't fire a mouse for singing. Angry voices interrupted my thoughts. "MAKE HER STOP!" a rodent cried. "Enough already!" called another. "For heaven's sake!" "I CAN'T STAND IT ANYMORE!" "SQUEEEAK!!" Luckily, we had reached our stop. I grabbed Pinky by a paw and scampered off the train. I had never been so humiliated in my life. Cheese niblets! I couldn't wait for my vacation....

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