29-THE SADDEST STORY EVER TOLD

THE SADDEST STORY EVER TOLD I went back downstairs to the dining room. Leftover pizzas littered the table. Red tomato juice dripped down the chairs. An enormous vase of black roses had crashed into a million pieces onto the floor. What a rats' nest! We all pitched in and cleaned up. By the time we had finished, it was almost dawn. The guests had all left. Except for one. We found him hanging upside down in a closet, fast asleep. "This is going to be a first-rat story," Thea squeaked, taking a quick picture of the snoring guest. "The pictures of the ball are going to be PHENOMENAL!" I checked my watch. "There is a train

leaving at seven," I said. "Are we all ready to go?" Benjamin nodded his head. "I guess so, Uncle," he said with a sigh, "But I was beginning to like the castle. These cobwebs are kind of neat." I smiled. Only my sensitive little nephew could fall in love with cobwebs. We headed down the long hall. As we passed the count's red door, we heard a strange noise. It was someone laughing. The door flew open, and there was Count von Ratoff. He was sprawled on a chair in a fit of giggles. I turned to Trap. "Crumbling cheese bits! He's still laughing at your joke."

I croaked. "Can you make him stop? He's laughing so hard he's going to bust a wing!" Trap scratched his head with his paw. "Yes, I recognize the symptoms. The Joke That Works Every Time can have a big effect on certain rodents. Stand back. I will handle this." He walked over to the count and mumbled something in his ear. My cousin must have been telling the count his whole life story. Finally, he stopped. All at once, Count von Ratoff stopped laughing. Then he began crying. No, I'm not talking little tiny boo-hoo tears. He looked like a waterfall wearing a cape. If he cried any harder, we'd have to swim home! "What did you do to him?" Thea shrieked.

Trap just winked. "Don't worry. I just told him THE SADDEST STORY EVER TOLD. It never fails. He'll cry for half an hour, and then it'll all be over!" We waved good-bye to the count. Then we headed for the main entrance and out the front door. The hunchback stood on the steps, waving a big handkerchief. "GOODBYE COME BACK SOON! IT HAS BEEN A PLEASURE HAVING YOU HERE!" My mouth dropped open. The hunchback's words were not blended together. He could speak perfectly clearly. He must have been pulling our paws the whole time! I quickly turned back to say farewell. But he had already disappeared in the thick Transratanian fog.