11-YOU ARE AS SWEET AS A BOWL OF CREAM

YOU ARE AS SWEET AS A BOWL OF CREAM ... The crowd was cheering like mad, I stared at the mouse onstage. What did they see in him, I wondered? I mean, I'm not an ugly rodent. But I'm no Mel Gibsqucak, the famouse movie mouse. The other me threw his hat into the air. Then he began to tap-dance. He looked ridiculous. Un-be-liev-a-ble! The other me started singing onstage. you are as sweet as a bowl of cream. you are every rodent's dream. Thinking of you I melt with glee. you are just my cup of teeea! I snorted. What a silly little song! How

could I, I mean, he, embarrass himself like this? I waited for the crowd to start booing. But nothing happened. Instead, the crowd began squeaking. Squeaking with delight! The lady mouse sitting next to me had her paw on her heart. "Oh, he is sooo romantic!" she shrieked hysterically. "What a mouse, that Stilton!" I turned to my sister. I knew Thea wouldn't fall for this trash, She had too much taste. She had too much class. She had her eyes glued to the stage! The other me ended his number with a bow. His female admirers threw him roses. He picked them up one at a time, Then he laid them on his

heart. The crowd shrieked with excitement. I didn't know what to make of Un-be-liev-a-ble! The heavy yellow curtains came down. He disappeared behind them with a grin. A few minutes later, he came out again. This time, he was dressed in a funny little skirt made of bananas. He had a pineapple on his head for a hat. Then he began singing and shaking a pair of maracas. follow my tips, Rotate your hips! wriggle your belly Like some cheese jelly. Come take a chance, Do the tropical dance! He then performed a couple

of dance routines. He did the pawstep, the fur fling, and the mouse trot. The crowd was applauding nonstop! I had never seen anything like it. I felt like I was at a Ricky Rodent concert. That mouse was more popular than frozen cheesecake in the summertime! After that, my double launched into a wild cha-cha-cha cheese step. The whole time he sang this silly song. One-two-three, Cha-cha-cha! Ched-da-ree, Cha-cha-cha! Melted brie, Cha-cha-cha! Munch-like-me, Cha-cha-cha! Un-be-liev-a-ble!

My lookalike changed his outfit once more. This time, he had a red rose between his teeth. He danced around the stage, blowing KISSES at the audience. "Ole! Ole! Ole!" he cried. Was he supposed to be a rat bullfighter? I could not get over his act. It was so bad I could have burst out laughing... or crying. After all, what if rodents thought that was me? He was awful. But the crowd loved him. They cheered and clapped as if he were the greatest thing since Larry Labpaw invented spreadable cheddar! I didn't know what to make of it. Un-be-liev-a-ble! Next, he came onstage wearing a tuxedo, He sang an aria from an opera. I

think it was in Italian. But who knows? Maybe he was just making up some nonsense words. I wouldn't put anything past this mouse. Ah, I'amore! Once again, he disappeared behind the curtains. He came back and began to rap. your-fur-is-go-soft, your-whiskers-so-fine. If-I-grill-a-cheese-sandwich, Will-you-be-mine? This was entertainment? I was ready to run squeaking from the theater. And yet, I seemed to be the only unhappy one. The crowd was applauding like mad. They were even dancing on the chairs! It was a never-ending performance. Un-be-liev-a-ble!