07-HERE LIES THE GUEST

HERE LIES THE GUEST... Boneham stopped in front of a purple door engraved with a skull. A brass plaque on the door read GUEST ROOM. Boneham opened the door and I peeked inside. It was a strange-looking room! Thick purple velvet covered the walls. It reminded me of the inside of a pricey coffin. Creepy! The dresser was shiny and black. The silver handles looked like coffin handles. A large bed with four posts sat in the center of the room. Bats and spiders were carved into the posts. Over the bed hung a sign: HERE LIES THE GUEST

I gulped and stepped inside. How was I supposed to get any sleep in this chamber of horrors? I shivered at the thought. Boneham cleared his throat. "We could certainly use a fire on this chilly autumn day." I turned toward the fireplace. There was no fire. The butler spoke again, more loudly this time. "I said, we could certainly use a fire." Once again, I was confused. Who was Boneham talking to? Finally, Boneham began to yell. "We need a F-I-R-E! A fire! It is cold enough to FREEZE your whiskers in here!" Suddenly, a crackling fire began to burn in the fireplace. I stepped back, shocked. What had happened? Was this some kind of magic?

"I am sorry, sir," Boneham said. "The fireplace is a bit deaf. It is more than three hundred years old, you see." I took another step back and found myself standing next to a tall mirror. At least I thought it was a mirror. I could not see my reflection in it! "Is something wrong with the mirror?" I asked. "Oh, the MIRROR has probably just gone somewhere to take a nap," Boneham answered. "It's very lazy, sir. So sorry." A deaf fireplace? A lazy

mirror? What kind of a place was this? Boneham walked toward the door. "One more thing, sir," he said. "Be careful of the carpet. It's a real paw-puller. And if you need anything, just YELL." The butler left and closed the door. I looked down at the carpet, curious. Without warning, it pulled out from under me. SPLAT! I fell flat on my snout. Then the carpet rolled up—with me inside it! Boneham opened the door. "I told you, sir. The carpet is a real paw-puller!" Then he shut the door behind him. I could not take it anymore. I was hungry. I was tired. And now I was rolled up in a paw-pulling carpet! "I want to go home!" I wailed.